So I had a moment today while I was vacuuming the den, making sure that all the glass was off of the floor from the broken snow globe, (I know, you have lots of questions after that statement – I will get to them later) when I started to wonder how I got here and who put me in charge.
Tim is out of town on business for a few days and whenever he’s gone it just sort of hits me that it’s only me running the show and well, I am out-numbered. Ok, not severely but still, it’s two against one and frankly that just doesn’t seem fair.
I had to discipline someone for climbing then dropping and breaking the previously mentioned globe de snow and while the din of the vacuum drowned out his cries from his room, I wondered, “When did I become the displinarian and the one to make these big-ish decisions?” I mean when I was the kid, my parents sure seemed to have it all together and were certainly the authority in my mind. I just had to stop and ask myself if my son perceives me the same way. Surely he cannot because I just turned around and all of the sudden became the adult. It was just the other day that I was the one getting in trouble right ? (although that’s not entirely true since I was a perfect child) ahem.
I seem to have these “reality checks” a lot these days and sometimes it just really freaks me out that I am the one guiding them on a daily basis. I AM the one that they see as the authority figure and their Mother (or in Little G’s case, DAH!) I am the one who kisses their boo-boos instead of mine being kissed (and yes broken snow globe = small cut on hand for little boy). I am the one that wipes their tears or in some cases, creates them. Who gave me all this power and when did I actually decide that I wanted it? I just find it really baffling sometimes that I AM the adult here and I AM the one in charge of two little boys. Real ones. Scary, huh?
Okay, so maybe it’s not really that petrifying and I have to say that I do feel quite a sense of accomplishment in my life as I sit here with my two precious boys well fed, bathed, read to and off in dreamland in their beds. Today did have a couple of moments when I thought I might revoke my mommy license (can you say clogged toilet?) but honeslty I wouldn’t give up my adult responsibilities for anything else in the world. But, I will be very happy to share the duties again once Tim returns. (miss you honey!)
And here are the answers to your possible questions.
1) Yes, we did have a snow globe out at the end of May.
2) It was actually tucked away on a shelf on our entertainment center where some things like Play-Doh and crayons are also stashed.
3) The B Man did some unauthorized climbing next to the pretty expensive t.v. to retrieve it.
4) Little G was fast asleep when all this transpired so at least that made clean up much less hectic.
5) No, I am not looking forward to what other shennanigans may happen while my husband is still out of town.
I have some of the same thoughts sometimes; but mine are more like how the hell did I become this old
or even better I have turned into my mother!
My dh used to travel, and I had two babies. There were times I thought I’d go nuts. But overall we managed without too much trouble!
Good luck while your dh is away!!
I feel that way ALL the time. I often want to cry out to my mommy to make it all better, and then…bitchslap! Oh, I’m the mommy now.
Oh, I definitely question that I am the one leading these children into their lives too – scary!
Have a good day – Kellan
ooh, I have felt this way too! And Sometimes I would really like my mom to come make it all better for me.
Good luck while Tim is away, I always find that really difficult.
Welcome to the single mom club!Pull up a chair and pour a BIG OLE glass of wine.
Found your blog through Rocks in My Dryer. Glad I stopped by. Your description of “unauthorized climbing” made me laugh.
WHAT? We need a license to practice parenting?
CRAP!
Gotta go…..
What about the clogged toilet? I have a question #6!
Hope Tim is back soon, solo parenting is much harder isn’t it?!
I feel your pain about the snowglobe! We’ve smashed our share in my house. Little Bear just yesterday smashed the one the leprechauns gave her for St. Patrick’s Day. Unbeknownst to me, she’d taken it outside to play and was pushing it around in the stroller and it fell out! Ugh!
you will make it…hang in there! I’m with you though…when did we get so old and get put in charge? agh!
i’m with Kami. I have a question 6 about the toilet!
oh my goodness how true is this??
seriously we really are the adults??
very scary.
I feel that way ALL the time! How the heck did *I* end up the one in charge, a wife, a mother, with my own household. It’s pretty amazing. And pretty enxhausting, especially on “those” days.
Oh, I have those kinds of moments all the time. When did I get to be the mom of 5?! My friends from college all agree that I am the one in the least expected place in life. Still, those moments help me to see that I am doing exactly what God wants of me.
oh yes, i do sometimes wonder how it is that i’ve been left in charge of two small children. and i also wonder how i could possibly be 33 years old. i mean, i was just 18 yesterday, wasn’t i??