What ARE We (AM I) Doing??

I recently read this article by Allison Slater Tate – Parenting as a Gex-Xer: We’re the first generation of parents in the age of iEverything.  If you are about the same age as me and you read this you will be nodding your head the entire time, I promise.  I can relate to everything she said.  Allison eloquently talks about what it is like for those of us raised in a era when television and movies were a huge influence in our lives but before parenting became even more complicated in the times of “iEverything”.

After reading this I want to confess to you that I am struggling.  Why? You may ask.  Well, you probably know why.  I myself am pretty tied to “iEverything”.  And that “i” can even mean myself, as in I am selfish because of it.  I spend HOURS a week on my iPhone or iPad.  Doing things for myself.  Instagramming, tweeting, updating my blog Facebook page or my wall.  Texting and yes, even actually talking on my phone (sometimes).  It has become like another appendage.  And frankly, it scares me.  Yes, of course for myself.  What am I missing out on because I cannot seem to “look up”? What am I not hearing or sensing because I am too tied to this “smart” phone?

So not only am I scared for my apparent addiction but also for my children.

In her article Allison mentions trying to point out the beautiful river to the children in her vehicle during the morning carpool ride.  No one really notices it because they are too busy on their devices, heads buried in their screens.  I spent hours as a child looking at pastures and/or talking (oh my GAWD talking!!) to my family on the way to my grandparents’ homes when I was a girl.  There was a radio to sing along with, and later a cassett player, but otherwise it was conversation, naps and a drink of water here or there that kept me entertained on road trips.

These days I have to explicitly POINT OUT THE COWS and trains and planes and other things to my children.  They are missing so much. If it is not a device it’s the DVD player.  Sure, it keeps them quiet but do I want them to be quiet?  Maybe for a little while but not the entire ride.  I’m pretty sure my mind would have been completely blown if I could have watched Annie in the car on the way to Grandma’s house when I was a little girl.  Now they ask for a show on the way to Karate practice.  Nope, sorry.  I draw the line (usually).

I try to limit screen time, I do.  But the truth is I want more screen time myself so I let them have more screen time.  I am wrapped so tightly into this world, how could I expect my children to be any other way?  Of course I can rationalize it by saying that we DO get out and do other things, because we do.  But if the statistics on how our time is spent were to actually be analyzed I am afraid I would be gravely upset by the results.

It’s like we are on a bad diet full of carbs and too little protein.  It’s like sugar or any other drug.  My addictions are many.

I have decided that I do not want to pass this on to my children.  But have I already?  And where do I start?  Is television okay but Minecraft is not?  Is it still okay to share the Friday family night movie or should we only play games instead?  I find it difficult to restrict my own time.  I check Facebook so many times a day, I cannot count.  And for what?  I do not really know…

I am open to change and therefore open to suggestions.  I have read books on this matter.  And I liked them.  However, I cannot seem to put them into play.

I am open to “fasts” and I will be the first to kick and scream (internally) through them.  The fact alone that I blog keeps me tied to social media and the internet WAY more than I ever expected.  Of course it is so different now than when I started.  SO. Different.

I feel like something has to change in our household and even, if possible, in our society.  I want my kids to see what is out the van window.  I want them to marvel at a beautiful rainbow in the sky instead of creating one on their iDevice.  I want them to hear the songs on the radio that I love and to remember them with fondness in their adult years when they hear them again.  I want to talk to me and for me to hear them,  instead of not knowing what is going on in their lives.  I want them to talk to their friends instead of sitting right next to them with just a glow on their face, no words said.

So, I guess I am just not sure where to start.  The words “cold turkey” scare me but I’m not sure if that wouldn’t be a good idea for a bit… Tim and I have discussed this many a time.

It may be that perhaps my BRAVE as the year draws to a close, is to see how it will go if I am silent online for a while… I’m pondering it, that is for sure.

 

What do you think?  How does this make you feel?  Can you relate a little or a lot?  No judging.  It’s BAD over here, y’all.  I really want to know…

 

In the meantime here is a cute pic of my girl and our puppy.  Photography will always be a thing I love, no matter if the internet sees my photos or not…