It’s a capped sleeve that no longer fits your arm…
It’s a picture of yourself that you don’t want to see…
It’s a number on the scale that makes you cry…
Last night I cried myself to sleep because I feel SO ungodly fat right now. I know I’m not THAT big, but I’m big to ME. I’m big FOR me.
I don’t feel good about myself and I can’t continue this way.
I’m tired of still looking pregnant.
The scale went up in the last week. Yes, I ate too much chocolate. Too much FOOD.
But no more.
Our vacation is in 2 months and I don’t want to look like this when we go. I just can’t.
I went and ran this morning. More than I’ve run since before K was born.
I’m still sad today though, a little depressed I guess.
I just want to be healthy but I also really want that cute Spring shirt with the cap sleeves to fit again.
SueMac says
Oh, honey, I know every one of those thoughts. I feel that way often and hope it passes soon for you. XOXO
Loukia says
I have said it before… you are not alone in having these feelings. My GOD, only NOW amd I finally, seriously doing something about it, and my youngest child is 2 years old! Your baby is still so young and you have two other children to look after – you have to try to not be so hard on yourself. You will lose the weight, you will get back to what you were before, or get to what you want to get to – it will take time and you’ll get there! And you have our support. Just know we’re here for you and support you and I wish you luck. We all feel like this. I hope that helps, somewhat. It’s tough, and it’s not easy. HUGS xo
Kirsten says
Use that feeling for good, not evil!! 🙂 You can do this healthy thing. You can. Just keep choosing the runs and healthier foods rather than no exercise and that damn Easter candy that calls your name. You can do this. And those cute spring shirts will be fitting in no time.
Lori of I'm no super Mom says
OH do I ever know what you are feeling! I have an 11 week old and I just feel like I look like such a fat slob! I am thinking of you!
LutherLiz says
I know the feeling. In fact, I’ve started a Couch to 5k challenge on my blog to help turn it around. I’ve love to have you join us if you want…
http://lunargoat.blogspot.com/2010/04/couch-to-5k-kickoff.html
I am Barking Mad says
I have been where you are for 20 years except on an epic scale. I’ve been to so very many dark places because of my weight. I finally hit bottom and now I am clawing my way – 200lbs worth to lose, back to the top!
You’ll get there Elaine… and the running is a good thing.
As a sort of humorous aside…I was outside today filming the last little scene for my Biggest Loser submission video and was running in place for the longest time (with my cat…long story!), and now, a few hours later, I feel really good. As goofy and ridiculous as I KNOW I looked out there, I actually feel really good. So keep running and keep those endorphins pumping! I’m totally cheering for you!
Audrey at Barking Mad!
Geezees Custom Canvas Art says
Oh i know what your going through. I’m still trying to lose weight and my youngest daughter is 3 years old.
You’ll get there, just keep at it 🙂
ZDub says
I feel this way all the time.
Do you have an IUD? I had mine taken out yesterday because the weight was not coming off. Hoping now that it does.
Lori says
Aw, honey, cheer up! #1, you are NOT alone and #2, YOU JUST HAD A BABY! She’s only 6 MONTHS OLD! I’m still carrying baby weight and my “baby” will be 12 YEARS OLD in October!
Cheryl says
One day at a time….if you have a bad day of eating, start fresh!
Tosca Reno’s Eat clean diet recipe book is amazing Yummy and kids love the food too!!
I complained to my trainer last week that chocolate tastes so good
He said “skinny tastes better”
Ah ha moment….
You can do it!
Megryansmom says
You’re not alone.
nicole says
Oh Elaine. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are beautiful and you will find the inner motivation to make the changes you want to make. In the meantime, focus on the good as much as possible.
Lisa@verybusymomwith4 says
9 months on 9 months off—it will happen promise!
Keep up with the running! It always does wonders!
((HUGS))
Mommy Mo says
Zakary is so funny!!!!
When you set your mind to it, you can do anything, ANYTHING, inlcuding losing the baby weight. It will come off- you just have to decide WHEN you are ready to take the plunge. Sounds like you are ready now…..
Cannot wait to see you in a short few weeks, and WITHOUT KIDS- WAHOOOOO!!!!!
blairsboys says
Like almost everybody else who has commented, I can TOTALLY relate to your feelings. I have cried myself to sleep before, for the very reasons you listed.
It took me quite some time to finally do something about the 20lb I was holding onto after having Tyler. He was 3 years old when I went back to Weight Watchers and lost it all for good. It was HARD. I never felt motivated enough before that, despite feeling horrible and WANTING to be skinny. I just didn’t have the willpower and that took time to come. In retrospect, the timing was right for me to wait until I did. You CAN do it, and you WILL get there. I promise!!! HUGS!
Hannah xx
Jane Anne says
I came off one inspirational post about weigh loss to this one. I’m sharing the link- I hope it encourages you. I know those feelings, too.
Here’s the post: It’s more like cake top
Kami's Khlopchyk says
Hugs Elaine. I have been there too, we all have. It takes a bit of hard work and sweat but it will come off. Own it. Live it.
I am right behind you cheering you on as you run! When are we doing that run together we talked about before K came along?
xoxoxox
Tyne says
Hang in there! I can relate- it is really tough to lose weight after having kids. I will be praying for you to persevere and hang tough. And when you are doing a sit up or running, you can remember us fellow bloggers in the same situation!
Erin says
Oh honey….go easy on yourself! Baby K is only 6 months old! I know it is so hard right now…but you have to cut yourself some slack.
I just bought the Jillian Michaels’ 30-Day Shred dvd. It is only a 30 minute workout and my kids like to pretend to work out with me. It is hard, but today was only day 2 for me. It was $10 at Target and I kept hearing about it from people. I am really sore, but people keep telling me I’ll see results really soon. And then you can work out no matter what the weather and even if you don’t have a sitter or gym membership…??
You are beautiful. ANd you just had your 3rd baby. Your body can’t automatically spring back, and I’m sure with subsequent pregnancies it makes it even harder…you have 3 kids, you are Mom of the Year, and you are gorgeous. Please please be kinder to yourself….promise?
xoxoxoxox
Christina says
Oh my, I can relate. “I just want to be healthy” – YES, that’s it! Of course I want to lose some weight and fit my clothes better and look better, but more than anything I want to FEEL good and not get out of breath running up a flight of stairs! You will get there, sweetie – K is still very young and you clearly have lots of motivation!
Crooked Eyebrow says
We are in it together my friend. I too want the cute spring clothes back! You know what? we will get there and when we get to go shopping for oursleves, we will lok fabulous. Don’t forget to be nice to yourself in the mean time. WE are always harder on ourselves than we need to be.
love ya!
5 Kids With Disabilities says
Oh thank you for saying what I feel!!!! My clothes have been getting tighter but I REFUSE to buy a bigger size, preferring to squish into the clothes I have which don’t button all that well…
Audrey says
I know this feeling all too well. I’ve been yo-yo-ing for the past almost 6 years since my oldest was born. The funny thing is I have a pretty good body image. I don’t think I’m that awful when I’m look in the mirror but then I see pictures and I sob. Literally sob. What I am learning (slowly and painfully) is that this is a lifelong decision and lifelong process. You WILL get there. It just takes time and not letting the bad days derail you altogether. HUGS!
Krystyn says
You can do it. And, I know all too well how you are feeling. It seems like (for me) the weight came off so easy after #1…and now, here I am with an 18 month old, and I still can’t lose that last weight.
Good for you for going for a run! Keep it up!
~Mendie~ says
amen sister! i’m feeling the same way this week….we have to keep our chins up and see how far we have come.