Walking From, Walking To

You spot her as you drive up – she’s walking with earnest.  With her, a child grasping her hand – probably toting a cutsie backpack over their small shoulders, as they lag behind just a bit, their soft hair bouncing as they go, their steps a little unsure.

That “her” is you, or well, me.

 

I have been dropping kids off at pre-school for over 7 years (10+ if we count daycare).  I know that walk with purpose in dropping them off and I really know how it goes when everyone has to “let go”, both physically and metaphorically, at the beginning of the day.  I have hidden behind doors to see how a child would do, how quickly their cries would end.  I have dropped them off as they walk away and said jovially, “Bye, Mom!”,  but not usually until they were a bit older.  All of my kids have been clingers.  A couple of them even criers (the boys) (don’t tell them I told you).  Lately though, even K has not wanted to let me go, as she wraps her two little arms around my one, pulling and making a pouty face.  Car-line drop-off has become my savior (trust me, she is fine).

There is a feeling of relief once everyone has separated and you have both gone on to start your day separately.  You know they are in good hands and with friends and learning and living and playing, but it can still be hard to walk away. A few times I have even gotten teary, thinking about them gone from me for several hours at a time.  I think perhaps I am missing “moments” and things they say and interactions with friends.

However, I have always known that I needed that time, and so have they.  All of my children have flourished in pre-school.  Besides learning and getting some extra play time, they have also made friends and had wonderful teachers.

But I would be lying if I said the drop-offs have always been smooth and never affected me, because they have.  I’ve been embarrassed at times, trying to make a child stay.  Why would that be? Why should I be embarrassed that my child wants to stay with me, their mom?

We’ve been blessed to have sweet teachers who have always reassured me – “She only cried for a minute”.  “He was fine right after you left.”  And with that my mommy-guilt goes down by about .05%.  I’ll take it. 😉

And of course the time comes, later in the day, when you are reunited and yes, it feels so good. 🙂

 

I see her (me and all the other moms) walking again in the afternoon with a new purpose.  We are walking BACK to our babies.  We’ve had our time to spend doing things for ourselves, or being minus one kid and napping when the baby naps.  Hopefully, we are somewhat refreshed, rejuvenated.  I know we are thankful to the teachers for giving us this time and for the willingness to teach and be with our children.

But we are also ready to be whole again.  To have our little ones hug our necks, as we grab them up, back in our maternal arms.

It’s enough to make us forget the witching hour that is probably upon us…

 

 

*some musings as I come to terms with the fact that my kids are about to be DONE with pre-school. I KNOW. 

Did you or do your kids still go to pre-school?  How have the days of drop-offs been for you?