Trusting

A friend texted me yesterday morning, asking if I had read a book called “Night”, by Elie Wiesel. Since I had not heard of the book, I looked it up online. After reading the quick synopsis, my mind immediately thought, “I cannot read this book right now”. In the meantime, I texted her and asked, “Should I?”

She sent back a response about the political and social state of things as of late, and how the book made her fearful of the future.

I wrote back how I could relate, but that fortunately my faith carries me above this stuff, as much as it can. I typed many more words than that, but you get the gist.

See, that is my truth. My faith and belief in something bigger than myself, and something even more wonderful after this not-so-bad life, sustains me on the daily; even while all this crap is going on in our country and in our world. My faith has also kept me sane this last year and half, and even before my marriage started to crumble.

I believe part of my purpose in this life is to love others and to mother the three children God gave me the best way I know how. I also feel it is my purpose to act out of kindness and concern for those I love and even those I do not know. When I can, I do my best to give any amount of both material things, and my time to those in need. And no, I am never perfect at this and never have been. The word I use here is “strive”.

 

Yes, shit is tough right now. There are many people who are without or suffering, or who are disillusioned or sad. However, I cannot always take on all those things because doing so causes my anxiety to go through the roof. Instead, I focus on doing the best to take care of those in my community, family and those who need me the most. I can be an example and live a life of kindness and instill hope and faith in my own children. I can take part in a community that serves others and attempts to leave no one behind (and yes, I know so many times this is NOT the case)

I know prayer and my faith cannot necessarily make everything better but it certainly cannot hurt, at least not when coming from a genuine place. I am not typically an activist, however I do conduct myself in a way that values everyone, and I am doing my best to pass that thinking on to my kids. Yes, whoever is president may affect me in some ways, however the way I choose to live is going to have the most impact on my children and those around me.

Storms are brewing all around, but finding the calm in the midst of them is essential for me. Otherwise, I tend to spiral downward. While having faith, I trust that things will be alright.

Lately, I have been trying to do my best to enjoy those around me more and take in the moments that matter. I am thankful for all of these things…

 

The delicious chocolate chip cookies G baked the other night.

 

The dollar I put under a pillow Tuesday night, when K lost her other top, front tooth.

 

The almost teenager still requesting I drive for field trips.

 

Time spent at the local brewery and making a delicious steak dinner with my boyfriend – the one who loves me for all that I am and am not.

 

A sweet dog to cuddle.

 

Friends to have dinner with and laugh with.

Books full of words I need to read.

 

Time in nature with my kids.

 

The ability to sing in front of others in church, and share my voice.

 

Jobs that are both challenging and fulfilling.

 

Gorgeous winter sunrises

So what is keeping you upbeat and happy and grateful lately? I would love for you to tell me in the comments. Or on The Miss Elaine-ous Life FB page.

 

This post inspired by Mama Kat’s writing prompts – “Write a blog post inspired by the word: trust.”