While at Mom Com in Austin I went into a session with Marci Fair. At first I was not sure I would get that much out of it because Marci is a classic “working mother”. She has a career outside of the home, helps spearhead a charity that she founded and she is busy with those commitments as well as the ones to her family, which includes a husband and four children. But as Marci presented and spoke I realized her message was universal, for all of us mothers, whether we work outside of the home, at a traditional “9 to 5” job or not. Marci and I are both multi-taskers. So, after I realized that I knew I would get something out of her talk.
Marci has written a book that enlightened me quite a bit. It is called TILT – 7 Solutions to be a Guilt-Free Working Mom. Again, even though I do not currently “punch a clock” I still have certain commitments to those clients I photograph and the blog posts I promise to write, and so, in a way, I do have some of the same issues (and it seems I may always struggle some with how to juggle my time and tasks). She outlines a way that we can conquer this guilt as she weaves stories of other mothers within the book. She also highlights precious quotes that she has recorded, from her own children for years, throughout the book.
Marci’s main tenet is this, Balance is impossible; We must learn how to TILT instead.
Some days you may have to give your career more attention and TILT in that direction, since you have to travel that week for your job. Other times you may have to TILT towards your family if someone is sick or needs you present at their track meet.
From the beginning of the book, Marci encourages mothers to have dreams and to be an example to their children that they can have dreams too. She advises the reader to break their life goals into six different buckets and to have goals for each, including: Relationship Goals, Spiritual/Emotional Goals, Health Goals, Personal Goals, Financial Goals and Professional Goals. I think these are all so good to focus on and this philosphy has really stuck with me and helped me to outline goals of my own.
Jumping forward, I also really like the last chapter of Marci’s book in which she talks about the importance of sharing motherhood wisdom with each other, since we really are all walking the same path, even if we are going in slightly different directions. We are (for the very most part, I believe) all trying to raise kids to be stable, able adults who can make their own dreams come true someday.
Like I said above, this book is really for every mother, “working” or not. Marci gives beautiful insight into what it is like to juggle it all and still enjoy it. The chapters in this book encourage us to keep up with our dreams, as mothers and to let go of certain things that just do not matter. Her words tell us to find what inspires us AND our children and run with it and at the same time SHE inspires us to remember that love is paramount when raising our children. She also reminds us that our children will carry the experiences they have as children with them for the rest of their lives and our job is to give them wings to fly.
As an aside, one of the things I loved that Marci showed us during her talk at Mom Com was how she laminates drawings and other things her children give to her. I happened to be carrying around a paper napkin from a restaurant in which G had drawn a picture of him and me under a rainbow and also written, “I love you Mommy”. I told her I was going to get it laminated ASAP. Thank you for reminding me to cherish those little tokens that are actually really big to our Momma hearts, Marci!
Marci really is a mother with a heart of gold and I was immediately drawn to her and this book. You can purchase a copy of TILT and I am also offering a reader a signed copy that she gave me at Mom Com. You can enter below. I promise you WILL get something out of this book. After all, we are all working mothers in some way!
Marci’s advice sounds great! And totally makes sense.
Love your precious note.
Alison recently posted…Three Years
That’s an interesting thought and alternative to trying to balance it all. She might be on to something 🙂
Debbie recently posted…God Uses Messy People
Girl, I am personally mailing it to the winner so of course I would send it to you! 🙂
Debbie, last comment not meant for you, I mean I could BRING the book to you! Ha! Dumb phone!
That note gave me chills when I saw it (there may have been a few tears involved as well). I do think everyone can benefit from a book like that, not just “working” moms – don’t all moms work in some sort of way and feel mom-guilt for something? 😉
Kerstin @ Auer Life recently posted…Inspiration
“Balance is impossible”. I think I need to read this book. I’m entering and hoping that this giveaway is open to Canadians.
Laura recently posted…The Best Medicine
Girl, I am personally mailing it, so of course I would send it to you! 🙂
wouldn’t it be great to own a laminating machine? would it be crazy if I put that on my mama wish list> haha. I’m loving the title because TILTING is really what it’s all about. Maybe I’ll win 🙂
sarah reinhart recently posted…How I Write
This sounds like a great read. I am like you, even though I don’t go to a “job” outside the home, there are always responsibilities that need focus sometimes. I love the concept of “tilting” – it makes perfect sense! :C)
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted…Supermom
The book sounds like it has some great advice. I like the idea of tilting rather than trying to balance it all. And the note from your sweet kiddo, oh my, so precious.
Angela@JumpingWithMyFingersCrossed recently posted…Discovering
Sounds like great advice. I have no balance it all seems to tilt one way or another.
Julia recently posted…April Happiness Project : Live Happy Link Up
I’m trying to tilt my responsibilities of work and home, laundry and paperwork. I don’t know how to tilt very well.
Leighann recently posted…16 Year Old Self
I love the entire idea of “tilt” rather than balance. I think it is entirely accurate to agree that the pendulum of our attention has to shift back and forth as needs change. Thanks for the review and the chance to win!
I love the idea of tilting. I’m always afraid to look at Working Mom books because I don’t work outside of the home, but I’m thinking I need to value my time a little more. 🙂
Thea Rudland recently posted…Eleven Years Old
I without a doubt need to read this book! I have absolutely no balance and that leaves me at times just feeling pretty defeated.
I love the way that she puts it… to tilt. I thinkt his book would be a wonderful read. I struggle when I have to go out of town for work or work late or tell my child that I can’t attend their band banquet that year or tell my boss I must miss something for my kids. I would love to read this!
I feel like I have a lot of trouble tilting as a mom sometimes, or sometimes I feel guilty for tilting instead of accomplishing everything on my to-do list when my kiddo needs me! I think that I need to get better at it, because what I’m doing to tilt isn’t working so well.
Jenni S.– DigitalEraMom recently posted…Strawberry Pretzel Salad
Sometimes I just let things go. I can’t do everything and once in a while, I’m okay with that. 🙂
Greta recently posted…Through The Lens Thursday: Together
Shared motherhood wisdom is the best – and most surprising – resource I’ve had since becoming a mother. Much more than reading books and following tips on the internet. Really talking to other moms (my own included!) and getting ideas from them help me so much. With every new phase my kids enter, I always feel like a new mom anyway. I need all the help I can get! I think sometimes moms tend to isolate themselves with an “I know what’s best for my kid” mentality. What they don’t realize is that another mom has probably been there.
Andrea recently posted…The Fabulous World of Writing