Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down.
The ups are scary and the downs are scarier.
I’m in the downs right now.
I cannot run (still, yet, now, pain free, ugh). This fact makes me a bit depressed. And so I just want to EAT! The true definition of a vicious cycle in my life.
Sometimes I think it’s really not fair that I have “struggled” with my weight all my life.
I know in my heart that I will never be the skinniest one and I don’t even want to be.
But I JUST want to maintain a weight that I am comfortable with.
Comfortable with the number.
Comfortable in my clothes.
Comfortable in my skin.
Comfortable.
I’m not comfortable right now.
And I get so angry. SO angry that I have to think about every damn thing that goes in my mouth.
Does it have too much sugar?
Or too much fat?
Or too many carbs?
Or just TOO MUCH of anything!!!
I don’t want to always live like this.
But I do.
I do live like this.
And I just wanna scream, “It’s NOT Fair!!!” It shouldn’t be this way.
But it is.
It SO is.
Oh girl, I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I struggle like that, too. When I am not working out regularly, my eating goes downhill, too. It’s definitely a cycle 🙁 I hope you have an up again soon.
Elaine, I have struggled with my weight since I was 16… I think that is the year I actually first started WW! I’m always up and down with my weight, and I diet like crazy to lose weight for events, then I gain it all back. Struggle of my life… currently dieting right now… winter is hard, dieting harder… argh. I’m sorry, I’m such a downer! I know it has to be a lifestyle change, not a diet, I just sometimes have a hard time with it all!
Oh sweet thing, look around you, hug those kids, smile at your soulmate … love your life for its blessings.
The sun will shine again in your heart, I promise.
Don’t be so hard on yourself xxxx
I dont struggle with my actual weight so much as the numbers in my head struggle with me. No matter how thin I have been I was never comfortable being just me. Someday we will forgive ourselves enough that the number wont matter and neither will the calories. right?
Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Those are tough times. Hang in there. And know you are beautiful.
It totally stinks. Takes the joy right out of what should be one of life’s simplest pleasures – enjoying what you eat.
And I think no matter the number you always feel heavier when you can’t exercise. I know even if I go a few days I feel so much dumpier and frumpier.
My fingers are crossed that soon you will be cleared to run again. I know that it will help.
Oh how I hate the downs. Hugs to you!
I always focus on how much better I feel when I eat healthy.
Is it the fact that you can’t run that’s getting you down? Because there are probalby lots of things, besides running, that you can do.
Big hugs! I know it’s hard, my friend, but your health is worth it:) Hang in there. xoxoxoxo
Hugs my sweet friend. This down you’re struggling through now? Shall pass. I know, it’s easier said than done. Just hang on in there. You’ll be able to get back onto running and the groove of things soon enough.
I am so sorry you have to go through this. It is truly a tough place. I have been there too.
I can relate to much of what you said here. I was a chubby (never fat, but chubby) child, and then lost a bunch of weight in 8th grade and became pretty thin. I maintained that throughout highs school and for most of college…but it was after college where I packed on the pounds. Since college, I have always struggled with my weight. It’s frustrating, depressing, and maddening.
I hope you’ll be able to run soon!
It really isn’t fair. Once I finally lost my weight after my twins I realized that to maintain the loss I’d have to monitor what I put in my mouth for life and it sucks. 🙂 Yikes. That sounds terrible, doesn’t it?
PS. My point? I totally empathize!!!!! BIG HUGS.
It’s so frustrating, isn’t it?
I hope you’ll be able to run again soon.
It isn’t fair, but you are most definitely not alone. You’ve done great and got yourself to a really good place. I know it is frustrating, but it is all going to work out. I promise.
Oh hugs. It so does suck to think about it. I have to also. You are so damn gorgeous. Also, I wish that air tasted good.lol xoxo Love you.
It’s so not fair that it’s a constant struggle, and I’m so sorry. But you are so pretty, so I know that you are much harder on yourself than anyone else who sees you.
You are so not alone in this struggle with your weight. I hope that you can run again soon, or find another outlet that brings you that same joy.
How you think will affect how you will feel. You’re beautiful and that’s that!
Oh I am so there right now. I think it’s just PMS but I want to eat everything and anything I can get my hands on (and it’s never the healthy stuff.) I hope you can get back to feeling better and like you again!
Steph
I stopped reading ingredients and looking at calorie counts because it took all the fun out of eating. Now I just try to eat reasonable portions.
I can tell by how my pants fit if I am doing well or not.
Struggling with weight issues is horrible. I HATE looking at myself in the mirror. I only take pictures that are neck or boobs up. I don’t want to see anything else. I feel so ugly. It’s hard. I too look at all the ingredients. We should not have to worry about that. But I have a slow metabolism. I can’t help it. I can lose, but then gain twice as much.. it’s a never ending cycle/battle. It’s horrible. I hate it.
I wish you the best girl! I will be a new follower!
I’m sorry your in the icks. Big hugs, E!
I hear you, girl.
Totally and completely hear you.
(Sending you love.)
I know. I completely understand. Running really does help so much and when that is taken away it makes everything SO MUCH HARDER. It just seems so unfair sometimes. Why does it have to be so damn hard?
I think you look beautiful, by the way.
Hope you are back up and running again in no time!