The Goodness

Earlier this week I heard my priest speak outside of church.  He was talking about the innate goodness in us.  And how it is so much within us when we are children but as we get older and more jaded, it begins to disappear.

Now before you stop reading because I said “priest”, please know this post is not about religion.  Instead, it is about seeing this goodness in everyone.

Can YOU see it?

I know I cannot always see it.  Sometimes, depending on the person or the circumstances, it is extremely hard.

There have been times in my life when ALL I can see is the bad.

Bad, bad, BAD!

I have wanted to blame others for the things they said or did that I felt were so bad.  I wanted to make them see that what they were doing was bad.  I wanted to tell them to “wake up” or even point out how rude or destructive or plain “wrong” they were.

But the funny thing is, there have been instances in my life when someone could have, and maybe even should have, told ME the same thing.   There could even be something going on with me like that RIGHT. NOW.

Here’s the thing, we are all human.  We are all going to “F” up.  It’s just how we are made.

But as I am growing older I am realizing I must change my focus.  I posted about this recently with my own struggles with my weight.  If you read here regularly, you know this.  And by changing my focus, I am putting my lens on the GOOD, not the bad.

Think about this:  If we spent even HALF as much time focusing on the GOOD in a person, versus the bad, how would that make them feel?  How might that make them see themselves differently?  How might it even make them change?

I certainly do not have all the answers.  I just know that when someone says something good about me or to me, how I feel afterward.  Better.  I feel better.  Maybe I wasn’t feeling so bad to begin with, but even so, I feel better.

So, I challenge you.  If your husband leaves his underwear on the floor again tonight, don’t nag him (IKnowSoHard).  Instead, think about something he did good for you today (or the day before) and pick them up yourself.

If your kiddo sasses back to you, yes correct them, in a loving way, don’t sass back (this is a big one for my OWN SELF!).

If your friend disagrees with you about something, tell them how you feel on the other side and why, but don’t argue or judge.  Just make your point and move on.

There is still so much goodness in each of us.

Instead of being pissed that the guy cut you off on the road, slow down and let him go.  Apparently he thinks wherever he has to be is more important but perhaps (doubtful, but you never know!) he will see your graciousness and pass it on.

I’m not trying to be preachy.  And many (okay, all) of these reminders are for myself as well.  There is goodness in ME.  And sometimes I lose sight of that too.  After all, I am human too.

But next time you’re in a moment or a conversation or a situation where things are not the best or you think someone is in the wrong, try to see the goodness first.  I don’t guarantee it will change things but it may.  And to me, that is worth a try.