“Mom, can I put on my swimsuit and go run in the sprinkler?”
“Sure, I need to water the front anyway.”
Doesn’t she need to water the back? Certainly it needs it more.
“I wanna go out back though.”
“I just watered back there yesterday honey.”
Well never mind then.
I’m not going out front in my swimsuit. NO way.
She pipes up in her sunny voice once again. “You can go out front and play too. Daddy will be home soon and you can wave at him when he pulls up!”
No thanks.
“Do you want a snack before dinner?”
No, I don’t want a stupid snack. I already had a snack. I’m chubby enough and don’t need you to feed me anymore. What, do you WANT me to be fat?
The backyard has a fence. No one can see me there.
I can run through the cool waterfall without any worries. The girth of my waistline won’t offend anyone out back. The fact that Mom had to buy me a swimsuit at least two sizes bigger than my friends’ thankfully cannot be seen from the other side of the 8 foot fence.
And speaking of clothes for bigger girls. Don’t they make soccer shorts for girls with thighs that are NOT as thin as sticks? Those dumb shorts don’t fit me. I can barely run in them. I kinda want to torch them.
Sometimes I really wish that my body wasn’t this way. I dream of frolicking in the spray of water in the soft, green grass out front while smiling, not at all mindful of the people staring at the fat girl as they drive by. Instead of seeing big legs and rolls I would see legs that can easily fit into those soccer shorts and a flat stomach too.
But that is not the case. Here I am in the kitchen with her now, while she’s making dinner. Something fattening I’m sure.
“Where’s your swimsuit?”
“I changed my mind.”
She can tell by the look on my face.
“You know what. There’s a little part of the side yard out back that probably still needs watering. You can run in the sprinkler out there. Sound good?”
I lift my double chin, nodding up at her. I hope she cannot see the tears forming.
“And when you come back in you can dry off and dinner will be ready. Oh and we have apple pie for dessert!”
Stupid apple pie. So good.
I can’t wait.
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