I am talking about family size. Just to clarify that right away…
😉
So yeah, apparently it does. Matter. The size of you family, that is.
I was chatting with some friends the other day about this and someone mentioned that three is not really an ideal number of kids because then there is always an “odd man out” when it comes to them playing, etc.
And it can be true, at least from what I have seen around here. Sometimes the boys are playing together and refuse to include K. And sometimes B and K will be bonding and exclude G. It happens. And I have to say it’s pretty rare that the two younger ones leave B out. They both like him a lot and well, the oldest kid is just cool, you know? But sometimes he does go to a friend’s house to play or go off to read on his own and the younger two are forced together. But they secretly like it. And then, G gets to be the “big” one!
I don’t really see anything wrong with any of the above scenarios. The boys do not have to include K every time. Sometimes they just need their “guy time”. And she has learned to play on her own partly for this reason. Also, it is good that sometimes B takes his leave of them and does his own thing, of course.
The only time we really do experience a bit of a problem is if G is not included He does NOT like to be left out. He’s NOT a loner AT ALL. So yes, that can cause dissent. Like the crying, screaming kind.
Honestly, sometimes I wish he would have been a twin so he would have had a “buddy” to pal around with all the time. Is that a weird thought or what? Plus, he would always have someone to snuggle with instead of coming to my bed practically every night… but of course that was not meant to be.
Anyway…. we are done having children and we do have THREE, whether it is the best set up or not I cannot say because it is the only experience and dynamic that I know for MY family.
Now, I did grow up as one of four myself, but never really had anyone to play with because A) they were all boys and B) they were MUCH older than me (sorry guys, it’s true). So I would say that birth order and ages of the children also have a little to do with how your kids “get along” and are raised.
My children are close enough in age to play together and have some similar interests. That was not really the case for me.
And thankfully they can even play different things next to each other at times.
See?
Of course after this was taken, not 2 minutes later, G had an epic meltdown since B accidentally smashed some of his Legos. Sometimes things don’t go perfectly now matter how many kids you have…
What size family do you have or think is ideal? How well do your kids play together?
P.S. I have a little letter I wrote to my “home” state up over at Tonya’s place. I’d love for you to visit me there! 😀
I have two and there are some epic meltdown for sure 😉
I really think you can’t generalize how many kids are “ideal” – it’s gotta work and I’m glad it does for you! xo
I always hoped I’d have four, and I love it. Erv is still too young to really play with the others, so sometimes it feels like I have three, and the dynamic is a lot like what you describe. But no one else can say what’s right for YOUR family! (Love your rug, by the way)
I have two, and they go through the playing together nicely, right into I don’t like you much, all within minutes. I think they’re close enough in age to do things together, yet at different enough phases to go off and do their own thing (which is not at all a bad thing).
Whatever size your family is, it’s YOUR family, so no one can say if it’s perfect or not, other than you.
we have two and sometimes the older one feels “left out”. Their interests are diverging more and more and the carefree days of hours of playing are over…
There is no perfect sized family, there are just families that are perfectly sized. You know what I am saying?!
🙂
I have two girls and sometimes they play together well and sometimes not. Sometimes they want to be with themselves, or just their friends.
I don’t think there is a perfect size. I think it really depends on personalities, you know.
I think regardless of size there is always going to be a time when one feels left out. Either because the others are doing something too big or too little or because of the nature of the game or maybe just because that one is having a bad day and feels like he/she is being left out even when they aren’t. That’s just part of learning and growing and being a family.
There is no such thing as an ideal size. I think that every kid will be just fine as long as they feel loved. Single child, big family, kids just need love. It will all work out.
No matter how many kids you have every once in a while someone is bound to feel left out. But that is a learning moment for them, and it only makes them stronger.
There are six kids in my family and I never played with ANY of my siblings. The closest in age to me was 6 years older.
Yeah, all of it. There are ALL kinds of play scenarios between my three. Sometimes they get along, sometimes they do not. Sometimes they are the best of friends…..and sometimes not. I do have to say that sending Sam off to play at a friend’s house after school leaves poor little dude in hysterics- it’s almost easier just to have Sam’s friends come here to avoid THAT meltdown!!!
Our 2 boys are 5 years apart – which is good because they do their own things, yet come together to play at other times. My oldest is seen as “cool” and he gets to feel like a leader, which is always good. That being said, there are definitely challenges in there as well – especially when someone’s “stuff” is disturbed. 🙂
I hate when people say things like that about the number of kids. My hubs comes from a large family but was always closest with his youngest sibling his sister (they are 7 years apart). I come from a family of 2 and my brother and I aren’t close. Every family and person is different. 3 is the perfect number because it is your family.
I was one of three and the only girl so I think your 3 are just perfect 🙂 People sure do have some opinions on this for sure. I really don’t understand why though. There’s no such thing as the right amount of kids or the perfect family size. PS: I love that you clarified right away the meaning of this post. I was drinking my fruit water and almost choked on those first few lines. lol
I love to see kids playing together peacefully. I grew up in 4, and I have 3, and it is what it is. 🙂
I love my family.
First of all, I love that rug!!
Second, they are going to fight no matter how many kids you have. I will say that four kids can be REALLY loud sometimes. I never used to yell when I had only 2 kids 😉
I think you are right on, whatever works and is best for YOUR family!
xo
I’m in the “there is no ideal size” camp too. There are so many other factors, you know? Age, spacing, temperament, what else is going on with the family at the time. So I’m sure while 3 may not be ideal for someone else, it’s just perfect for you!
I only have two. I grew up in a family with four, however I was much older so the three younger siblings are all close in age. I don’t think there is an ideal size, though I know when you have a larger family it helps to have kids who are older to help you take care of the younger. My mom was 1 of 6 and my husband is 1 of 5. There were big age differences there, so there was help in the household.
I agree with some of the above – I had one sister growing up, and that was the ideal size for us. I always wanted to have two kids, but then I had one late in life, and one kid seems to be perfect for us now. My sister has three girls, and they still seem to have an odd man out, but they all play together in different ways too. The tops of your kids’ heads are adorable. 🙂
0 or 1 can be ideal for some families or 10 for another. It’s about the family dynamics.
LEGO smashing causes meltdowns here too!
For us 2 is a good size. I sometimes thing of having #3 but I’m not sure I have the time, money or sanity for one more child. We have a boy and a girl and even at 7 yrs apart they still play together and torment each other at any given moment.
I have two- and am working on the 3rd- but am one of 4…so anything fewer than that feels “small.” That said, 3 is gonna be ‘spensive, so I think that’s where we may end up. And you (and everyone else) are right- it’s all about dynamics and ages and how the wind’s blowing that day. 🙂
We are a family of 6! 4 kiddos and two adults 🙂 pretty much like yours– my younger children always play with my older son but the three younger ones are back and forth with when they want to play with each other– my daughter loves my middle son because my youngest son and her are too much alike. My youngest and oldest son always leave my middle son out because his quiet and doesn’t like to bounce off the wall. On a good day I can get them all to play together (only if we’re watching a movie or playing a board game!
I have 2. my husband is perfect with only 2 because there is 2 of us. I however would love 1 more. Doubt it will happen though.
I recently heard that three was the hardest….I have a feeling the spaces and genders make a difference, too.