Since we recently uprooted ourselves and moved to an entirely new town, I’ve been pondering memories of the only other time I made such a BIG move in my life. It was the week I left for college.
Until then I lived in the same town and went to the same schools since Kindergarten. Just a few months after I turned 18, we packed all my stuff in my parent’s two vehicles and made our way up one of the busiest interstates in the U.S. to take me to college in Denton, Texas, north of the Dallas area.
Of course I was excited because I was starting college and a new chapter in my life, but that morning I said a tearful goodbye to my then boyfriend, who I left behind to finish his senior year at our high school. And since I was still a teenager, that was like a huge deal people. (we made it through that year but I went back to his Senior prom with him and I’m pretty sure I met the girl he’d been cheating on me with. It ended soon after that…)
I had met a really cool chick named Carrie at Freshman orientation but we were in different dorms and my roommate was a stranger, assigned to me by the system. She was less than ideal. But more on her later.
My parents helped me get settled while the pit in my stomach grew larger and larger. As my mother hung my clothes in the tiniest closet on the planet, I remember thinking to myself… Why didn’t I just stay in Austin and go to UT? Why did I come to this place where I basically know no one and have to start over, making new friends? I felt very alone and unsure of basically everything. I hadn’t even declared my major.
But the answer was actually pretty simple. I was ready for this and my future was here. There are SO very many spectacular things that happened in my life because I took that chance and left my comfort zone, including meeting the love of my life.
Of course those things weren’t clear at first. The waters were quite muddy actually. I left my first roommate after only a week and moved in with a girl I went to high school with. Although we were not friends per se, and she turned out to be a hypochondriac weirdo (and I am NOT exaggerating AT. ALL.), it was better than the first girl who snuck strange, very large men into our room almost every night and NEVER spoke to me.
I moved all of my stuff, by myself, down one flight of stairs (the elevator was farther and I was on a roll) in a matter of a few hours.
When my parents left me there that first week I could feel my heart splitting in two as the elevator door closed. It was the first time my father really said “I love you.” And it would most certainly not be the last. My brother later told me that my mother cried for three days once she and my dad returned home. I’m sure part of it was due to her new “empty nester” status, oh and possibly the fact that her baby daughter had just gone on to start her adulthood somewhere else.
I remember talking to her on the phone one night, a couple of months into the semester and telling her that I didn’t know if I could stay. That I should probably just come home and go to school back at home. But she said the opposite. She told me to give it some more time and to pray that things would start to come together for me. I did and they did. It wasn’t long after that that I got involved in some organizations and began to meet more people.
My second semester proved to be monumental since I decided on my major, met my future roommate, Corrie, and joined a co-ed fraternity dedicated to service and unofficially, friendship. And those connections eventually led me to Tim.
The rest as they say, is pretty much history, and a good one at that.
I type all this to remind myself that things will soon get better here. I’ve planned a lunch date tomorrow with some of the ladies I’ve been emailing with from the local mom’s club. I pray that we find a church community soon that suits us well (yesterday’s was a good prospect). The B Man starts school in a couple of weeks and well, I’m bound to meet some other moms there, right? And, we’ve joined a local health club that has a wonderful pool area for the boys and I plan to make some connections there as well. I know it just takes time and opportunity and I also know from experience that if I want things to happen, I have to MAKE them happen. Well and a little prayer can’t hurt either…
Kat says
That is such a wonderful attitude to have, and I completely agree with you. You just have to give yourself some time. You are doing all the right things. And joining group activities is bound to help.
Hang in there, girl! 🙂
Elise says
Elaine, I admire your optimistic outlook and that you are being very proactive in trying to meet new people. Your social calendar is going to get busier as you embark on this new chapter in your life, meet new people and make new friends. Thinking of you and praying for you.
Angella says
Oh, hang in there!
You are holding it together much better than I would.
xoxo
Haley says
Way to focus on the positive Elaine! Things can only go way up from here!
Em says
You’re doing great!! Comfort zones are so overrated 🙂
Megan (FriedOkra) says
It feels awkward at first, but I’ve moved and started over many times, and every time has opened me up and grown me in amazing ways. I get happier and more content and mentally/emotionally more capable and confident every time. I wish you all the best in getting settled and making your new area HOME.
That roommate thing! Goodness! There’s one on every hall though, you know?
Cheryl says
I always wanted to move away for college….it seemed life such a great life experience
You will have a whole community in the next while I guarantee!! Tim and I always said we would never live in the same city our whole lives…the longer you stay the chancre are you never leave and THAT is not good for you…while the kida are young you did the right thing trust me..
angie says
You’ve got the right attitude. It’s hard to extend yourself when your “new” to the area and people, but once you do, you’re going to have friends coming out your ears. 🙂
Patrice says
This is a great story! I loved this! I really admire the way you’re staying so positive & trying to make things better! I look forward to hearing all about the new connections you make very soon! 🙂
Shana says
Hang in there! Sounds like you have a wonderful attitude!!!
Mommy Mo says
What a great attitude. You can tell me the “real” deal the next time I see you, lol. Just kidding.
nicole says
You will have a whole gaggle of friends in no time!
I was so like you when I moved to Denton too! Well, I didn’t come from Austin, but I left behind a boyfriend and a town and a school I had gone to my whole life. I knew two other people when I moved in the dorm. My roommate was okay, not terrible, but we didn’t have a ton in common. The Catholic Center was my saving grace my second semester. That’s where I met my girl friends and eventually my husband. Fr. Bob was so great!
Anyway, I didn’t mean to ramble. You are so friendly and positive that you will have friends in no time.
Jaimee says
Hope you found some good connections with the mom’s club! Before you know it, you will be settled! I know it was only across town, but I was totally depressed about moving from Flower Mound to Frisco & now I wouldn’t change it for the world! I already feel more at home here than I ever did there…