Please Don’t Take This Personally, Giada

Not too long ago we decided it was finally time for a new coffee maker.

We are not ones to do the ole vinegar and warm water clean out thing (is that how it works anyway?) very often or ever so it had gotten kinda cruddy after many years of use.  And even though I still have the trusty Tassimo that I won from Dumb Mom, I like to make an entire pot of coffee quite often.

So, we picked one out at none-other-than-my-most-favoritest-store, Target.

Unfortunately, I have NOTHING but bad things to say about it, in the form of four-letter words, and nasty phrases of many four-letter words strung together.

One morning it made me so mad that it was like that one scene out of “The Christmas Story” when the dad is down in the basement trying to fix the furnace for the upteen jillionth time. (you know the one) Thankfully the kids were not in the kitchen at the time (my kids, in my kitchen, not the movie one).  And yes, I have been to confession since.

All of this, because a simple machine, whose only job is just to get some hot water over the coffee grinds and make me my sweet, warm cuppa(s), just can’t hack it.

More often than not the #4 filter ends up overlapping itself and the grounds hardly get any water on them.  Not to mention it leaks and after only a few uses the pot is perceptually brown.  No scouring relieves it of it’s nasty stains. ICK.

So, which coffee pot should you NEVER, EVER buy even if it’s the last one on earth?

This one:

The Giada programmabe 10 cup coffee maker from Target (oh sweet bulls eye, how you failed me this time)

It may be pretty but it’s not very smart (insert dumb blond joke here).

Good thing I think better of Giada.  I bet she would never have this piece o’ crap in her kitchen. She probably uses one of those fancy French Press things. If I had her address I would SO send her one of these babies so she could try it out for herself.  I’m guessing it would make her say a few four-letter words too and “Mozzarella” would not be one of them.