Perhaps I Jinxed it

I bought bottle brushes before Baby K was born.

I felt I didn’t get the best help in the hospital.

I guess I didn’t work hard enough with the nipple shield and other apparatus.

I posted early on that it wasn’t working.

And it’s STILL not.

I cried the other day, and HARD.

My little girl shows no signs of ever getting the hang of nursing, even though I continue to try and it just breaks my heart.

I know I said I wouldn’t stress about it but that doesn’t mean I’m not sad.

My cousin suggested I take her to a chiropractor to see if perhaps they can help with some sort of procedure.

Am I willing to try it?

I don’t know.

You would think I’d be willing to try anything at this point.

But part of me just wants to accept it and move on.

I’m not sure what to do…

Of course she’s precious and wonderful no matter what.

But I have such good memories of how natural and beautiful and free it was with Little G.

I wish…

that it could be that way again.

But perhaps it cannot.

And I’ll be okay and MOST importantly, SHE’LL be okay…

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I am still pumping, so she is still getting breast milk from me, just not in the preferred way.