Past, Present and Future

I was looking at and working on our family calendar today. The future.

We have kind of a big deal summer vacation in the works for this year and I’m pretty excited, really hoping it works out.  I’m like a kid again, anticipating something really fun but “mom” and “dad” have not said “yes” yet and I am really thinking they are going to but not sure.

Also, I am lining up some day camps for the kids and swimming lessons and time in Texas for us to visit family and friends and for me to go to my 20 year!!! high school reunion.  Which somehow I am helping plan even though I do not live there.

So today I went through 20 year old old photos of me, scanning some and getting them ready to send off to a friend from HS who is helping to organize things too.  It’s really hard to believe A)I graduated high school 20 years ago and B) I am in full swing, planning for ANOTHER summer.

And across from me, while I was planning and writing and thinking about all that is yet to come for the rest of 2013, I saw before me the past, plastered on the side of our refrigerator.  Old race bibs, photos of my nieces and nephews that are now outdated, art work by the kids that is months and months old.  G’s preschool class picture and a photo card of the boy we sponsor through Compassion, and I am sure he has grown so much since then…

I do this a lot.  I look to the past and the future all at once, sort of forgetting the now.

I wish I could live more in the NOW.

I feel like I am all jumbled inside right now, wondering what the future holds.  Wondering where we go from here while relishing in the past but not being present in the present…

The scrapbook from my high school days lays open in my kitchen.  I laugh as I go through the programs from choir shows, memorabilia from graduation and photos of young, happy faces, anticipating the future.

And I wonder, where will I be 20 years from NOW?  How different will my life be then?

One can only hope I will be able to find out while learning to live more for today.