I have a lot going on in my head these days and I can’t seem to find peace lately. Which really kind of stinks. It doesn’t help that “you-know-who” is back again this week (not sure what is going on with my body at this point) and it’s even worse than last week.
I see my house as unorganized, Little G has been extremely grumpy and clingy the last few days, and I feel like I rarely get a break or any time to myself (although as I type this, all 3 of my guys are asleep). I feel unmotivated in many ways.
I did however, apply lip gloss to my lips for the first time today in probably weeks, on my way to church. How can it be that my life is so crazy busy that I don’t even have time for full completion of the makeup process anymore? That’s just not right. See, when I was still working and pregnant with Little G, I shared a cube with the nicest lady who became a friend of mine. Her makeup was always perfect, including her lips. Mine, not so much. But, she didn’t have any children at the time. She always wanted them but it was never the right time. I know she would have traded perfect lips for a child and day of the week. And I know I need to be thankful for my beautiful family but sometimes it’s so hard when you feel like you are losing yourself in the process.
On the positive side I have been working out, which is a great thing to do for myself. I have a wonderful husband who is willing to help where he can, but it’s so hard when the boys want only me and a lot of time that is the case. Do you remember those rubbery toys that were characters with really long, stretchy arms and legs? Sometimes that is what I feel like, being pulled in all directions and stretched to my limits.
I KNOW I am not the only mother or father for that matter, that feels this way. I know there are peaks and valleys in anything we do in life. I guess I am just kinda hangin’ out in the valley right now, looking at the mountains I have to climb.
OH and to add to my woes. I lost my keys on Wednesday and still have not found them. We figure they have to be somewhere in the house because I remember the last time I used them was that afternoon but they don’t seem to respond very well to “here keys keys, here keys keys, where are you?” I have never wanted an inanimate object to sprout legs (and ears) more than now.
Another positive – I am currently doing a bible study with the moms from a playgroup I am in (Natalie is leading us) and it’s called “Guilt-free Motherhood.” I read a lot of it tonight since I had some catching up to do (!) and I think it’s going to be really good. One of the main goals of the study is to help you have a scripture based “blueprint” for parenting and to be a more proactive mother than a reactive one. I hope and pray that it helps ’cause golly it sure sounds good.
Also positive, we spent some fun family time together at the local pool today. I failed to grab the camera on our way out but rest assured that we all had fun in the water. And last night Tim made some rockin’ fajitas on the grill. Oh they were so good. Just as my life is, even if it does get overwhelming sometimes, I know it’s really good and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now if I could just get on top of one of those peaks…
Maybe I will just stand on top of the laundry pile. That should certainly do the trick! ; -)
Oh Elaine, I am so sorry to hear that you are having a rough go right now. Sounds to me like you could use an afternoon to yourself. Time to recharge and take on the battle of motherhood again.
Know that you have LOTS of friends out there in Bloggyville that love you and are always hear to listen when you need to vent. Motherhood/wife-hood is hard. And sometimes it is an uphill battle, but when you get to the top of that peak, oh the view you will have.
Hang in there! 🙂
Im so sorry hun! Take a break and a refresher! Im thinking about you!
Hi Elaine
I am sorry to hear that you’re feeling unmotivated and blah in general at the moment. I hope that this passes quickly. I had to chuckle when you said you might just stand on top of our laundry pile to get on top of one of those peaks – at least you still have your sense of humour and as you said you wouldn’t trade your life for anything.
Any chance of you getting out and having some time to yourself to indulge in something you like doing?
I will be thinking of you.
Love and hugs (Big hugs that is)
Elise
Gosh, I can totally relate to this (as I’m sure most other mothers can). We really do all have those days where we feel stuck in the valley and wish we were on the mountain top. I guess the knowledge that you WILL feel differently again soon is not much consolation when you’re going through it!
I agree with the person who said it sounds like you need a night out, some “me time”, or just some space in general!
Hang in there 🙂
I’m thinking that the “positives” definitely out weigh the negatives, so I’d say focus on those!
And, maybe head to the doctor for your “visitor” problem, just to make sure it isn’t something else!
Oh me too, me too.
Oh, my body did that to me too when I started to wean James! I FEEL your pain…that does stink!
Stick with that working out and you will feel better physically AND be proud of yourself! Something you need when standing on that mountain of laundry! If yours isn’t tall enough, you should stop by here cause mine is huge! 😉
And I am loving the Bible Study too! It has really been encouraging to me…can’t wait to see you tonight!
It is good for you to get out of the house and work out even if the boys don’t like it. If they are that clingy to you (am I the only mom whose kids don’t care if I leave???) it is good to show them that you can go away for a little while and will always come back. No guilt!
I love a party! (even if it is a pity one)
My house was a serious wreck last week and finally on Friday I was able to get a handle on the kitchen and mud room. It has made me feel 100% better. Even though there is WAY more to do…progress is good. Have fun at the pool!
I can totally relate, Miss Elaine. This too shall pass… 🙂 Keep your chin up!
Lotsa hugs,
Becky
Sorry your having a hard time right now… you are so right about peaks and valleys. It would be boring otherwise right? 🙂
Ugg… i totally hear you about the keys. Ozzie loves keys and has been known to run off with them. We couldn’t find them the other morning and thought we were actually going to have to try to fit in hubbys car. ha! Good thing we found them.
hope this week is a better one.
brittany
Hey I would love to come to your pity party! I throw great PITY PARTIES all the time and they are a blast! Ask my HUBS and KIDS!
There is a little book you should read. GIFT FROM THE SEA by ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH It is only like 100 some pages. It always reminds me to take time for myself and to BREATH. IT sums all the things I sometimes think about. All our responsibilites of being A MOM, WIFE having to meet our social obligations. It Tells us it is OK to be creative and take time for yourself to do so. IT was written in 1955 and IT TRANSCENDS time. It is the same with generation after generation of women….it may be writtne differently but it is all the same feelings and questions! Check it out. It is usually found in the inspirational section at BOOKSAMILLION or B&N. I give all my GIRLFRIENDS copies at one point or another! CHECK it out seriously!
Have a great day and a great honest post!
Do I need to RSVP? Cause I’d love to come, esp. if it means overindulging in chocolate. And, you have time for lip gloss? Sigh.
I can relate. I’ve been feeling snowed under lately too, in a funk. I think it’s aprtly that summer is thought of as such a relaxing care-free time – but honestly it’s even more work for us moms.
Do you have regular Moms Nights Out? My moms group does them monthly, and it’s tonight, and I’m so looking forward to getting out and doing something totally fun just for me. It really recharges me. And in a couple months, you’ll have 2 kid-free days a week!
Hang in there…the rollercoaster of life if bound to start swinging back up soon again!
Oui, the valley, I am oh so familiar with the valley!
I am climbing out though the mess is still around, but I sure know what you are talking about.
Hang in there, you seem to have a great sense of direction and soon the skies will be bright again.
Thanks for keeping the perspective real, you are amazing!
Oui, the valley, I am oh so familiar with the valley!
I am climbing out though the mess is still around, but I sure know what you are talking about.
Hang in there, you seem to have a great sense of direction and soon the skies will be bright again.
Thanks for keeping the perspective real, you are amazing!
Me too, me too, me too. I just had a miserable Saturday and I can’t even think of one reason why it was that way. I did eventually decide to get over myself and accept my present circumstances. I’m pretty convinced that I still go through the emotional aspects of regular cycles, even though nursing is suppressing them right now. You said what I have thought a million times. I hope you climb up out of the valley quickly. I’ll be thinking of you.
I think there’s something in the air! I have been feeling the same exact way, lately. “this too shall pass…”
I’ll join your pity party–I have lots of cheese to with our whine 😉
Seriously, I know how you feel. I have an awful virus right now and my house is so gross I could die!
The bible study sounds interesting
You’re feeling some of the same I’m going through! It always seems to come in large waves, instead of gentle ones. I wish I could just throw in the towel sometimes and run off to get a massage or something…oh wait have to have money for that one! 🙂
Hang in there!
EVERYONE needs a pity party every once in awhile. I’ll bring the Ben and Jerry’s!
Look at is this way, you are such a positive soul that you found POSITIVE things in all the muck!!!
I’ve had several pity parties myself when the boys were younger… it wasn’t fun!
I don’t usually have them anymore.
It get’s easier… lots, lots easier! Busier… but easier. Does that make sense?
When I had 4 under 4… with 4 car seats, and 2 in diapers, and someone always sick or teething, and I was trying to teach full time on little or no sleep… it was CRAZY!
But… now I sleep until noon sometimes… and the boys fight over who gets to snuggle in bed with me at night until daddy prays with them and tucks them in.
ANd the best part… if mommy is sad because she’s tired or has a headache (that’s code for PMS), she has 4 little knights and my terrific prince who jump at the chance to figure out what “they can do to make it all better… like I used to do for them when they were little”…
(like they’re so old already)
Enjoy the season … it changes ever so quickly.
Look in the hamper for the keys – that’s where one of my blogging friends found hers this week. Also … fajitas and the pool sound fabulous! I hope those moments are the kind you have in the coming days and you get up that mountain – if not – stand on that laundry pile – it might just work (take a picture)!
Take care, Sweetie – Kellan
I hear you!!
I feel like my list of “things to do” gets bigger and bigger and the time I have to get stuff done is becoming less and less.
But like you said some days are worse than others. Today is a good day for me, last week, not so much…
Hope today is a good day for you! 🙂
Aw, I hope you’re feeling better now. *hugs*
How about a playdate sometime?
I am too late for the party!
I so needed to come.
Hope things are much better now.
I love that you are going to stand atop the laundry pile… fabulous!
I am sorry that you are having a rough week, it is really hard to be a mommy sometimes. Hope you can find something other than laundry to get you to the peak (maybe chocolate?)