Yesterday we gathered as a family of five and smiled for the camera and laughed and kissed each other’s cheeks.
Monday morning came with a vengeance and brought non-listening ears and tears and frustration and new worries for a week ahead. At school. At work.
The sunlit counter scattered with the things of a busy family like pencils and papers and cups and catalogs and a random little boy sock. Scattered like my heart and brain.
And the vase of flowers still remains – a scented and colorful marker for 13 years of marriage. All those memories weaved through our two partnered brains like little threads that knot themselves and cannot come undone.
I run through my to-do list, loathing it a little but trying to remind myself that this is all I ever wanted. People to love like I was loved.
But that is where it gets tricky because I feel like I cannot always do it well and that I especially cannot do it right.
The day ended with the groceries bought and put away, the laundry done and folded but more tears, and some days I feel like I really just want to throw in the towel instead of wash it.
p.s. I am okay. We are fine. But some days are just hard, you know?