No Difference

This is one of my oldest son’s best friends.

 

Sorry for the quality of the photo but they were forced by their mother’s (one of them being me) to get out of the pool and take a picture together since this was J’s going away party.   And it was almost dark.

That’s right,  J moved several states away at the end of July and my son misses him so.

He and J met in 2nd grade and have been friends ever since.  They share an interest in the same games (Minecraft anyone?) and love to talk on the phone.  J is Ben’s only friend so far that has officially had a sleepover here, at our house.  J is one of THE most polite and eloquent children I have ever met.

 

J’s mother and I sat next to each other on the bus to one of their really cool field trips that year and we had THE best conversation.  We talked about our boys and how alike they are and what we wanted for their education and exchanged numbers so we could get them together outside of school.  We became friends too, because our boys were friends and because we had things in common, each even having younger boys, about the same age difference between them.

 

This sounds like a story that could happen any day and every day of the week in our country, in our world.  And it does.  But the difference is that  some people might not see it as okay, even now in 2014.

I know.  It completely blows my mind too.

 

There is NOTHING different between my son Ben and J, except their skin color.  And thankfully that has never made a difference to them. EVER.  They became friends because they like each other and because they bonded over similar interests.

They ARE friends because it DOES NOT MATTER that they appear different on the outside.  What matters is that they are the same on the inside, full of heart and kid-ness and a fondness for each other.

 

What really matters now is that my son’s friend doesn’t live here anymore and even though they can talk on the phone (and they have, trust me!), it’s just not the same.

He misses his friend so much and I even miss chatting with his mother, as well.   But they moved because it was the best thing for their family right now and I for one, can understand that.

I just wish that my son still had his friend here and I wish that everyone could understand how truly okay it is for J to be my son’s best friend.

 

I also REALLY wish that J’s mother and father never had to worry about him in ways that I do not have to worry about my white son.

That part I wish for really hard in my heart because that part is not fair and it is ridiculous and UNreal to me.

Sometimes I wish we could not even see color.  That we could be blind to it.  But people choose to be blind to other things, unfortunately, even today.

 

Thankfully, I believe there is HOPE for things to change.  I look at my children and know that I have taught them that they can be friends with whoever they want, where race is concerned.

Now if we could only make everyone see that love and friendship can and DO cross racial lines every single day.

Tolerance and acceptance.  Love over hate.  Trying to understand each other instead of trying to shut others down.

Now, if only everyone was just willing to start there…