Message Received

I broke my fibula, yes I did. And it hurt so damn bad. I missed the first step at the top of the stairs, in the dark and I fell. It really did all happen so fast: fall, knee twist, foot caught, land, pain. And the pain was like nothing I have ever felt before in my life! I knew right away something was very wrong, but I hoped it was just a bad sprain. Brandon helped me, I woke him up, yelling, crying out. I could barely breathe at one point, sitting there in shock, on the fourth step down, realizing the pain as it sent horrific messages to my brain. Sharp, like someone was stabbing me over and over in the ankle. I almost passed out. I felt dizzy and hot. I could not stop telling him how much it hurt. It just kept hurting, so terribly bad. It did not take much longer for us to realize we had to go to the ER. We somehow managed to get me in the back seat of his car and took the dark ride to the hospital. I remember closing my eyes, a few stop lights and every bump on the road.

Once there, I was extremely grateful to whoever invented wheelchairs. Next, I was never more thankful for pain medication injections. I told nurse Collin he was my new best friend once he put the shot in my lower back. He looked perplexed since he did not know my sense of humor yet, but he would before my visit was over.

I asked for water and received nothing, in case surgery was needed once they read my x-rays. Everyone was male in the ER, except the woman who wheeled in her counter-height cart with a computer, taking care of the paperwork side of things. She was a little socially awkward and her timing was bad. They came in to tell me a bone was broken while she was asking me the details of my life and requesting signatures and my credit card. That’s when I lost it. The emotion of everything just took over and she quickly wheeled her cart out, promising to come back when I was more composed.

She fulfilled her promise after I received my makeshift cast and Collin and I pledged to be BFFs forever. 😉 Charles also helped get the ortho ice (a.k.a. “witchcraft” – inside joke between me and my bestie) and ace bandages on my foot and leg.  The small town-ness of Lafayette was once again revealed through mine and Brandon’s conversation with him. I am sure if we had talked longer, we would have found two or three more people we knew in common, who were not priests. 😉

They all left at some point and we said our goodbyes. I liked Collin and Charles a lot, however I hope to never come across them in that environment again. We said our goodbyes in the parking lot, as the sun began to rise on the day that began way too early, with way too much pain. So much so, it was not numbered on the pain scale.

 

So now here I sit, and lay and sleep… on the downstairs sofa. I’ve finished The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, watched Big Little Lies (only season 1 is out there – I need more!!!), started watching a documentary about Warren Buffet, have read some of a book and written some words.

I am keeping a list of those bringing food and helping in any way. They will be profusely thanked. Taking one of your legs out of the equation, especially the one you drive with, is just really crappy. I have a new found appreciation for anyone who has ever gone through this, who is disabled or anyone who has to ask other people to do things for them for an extended period of time. 

I am a “doer”. I don’t really know how to slow down. Once again, God must’ve had different plans for me. I guess He thought I needed a new perspective. I kind just wish he had chosen to give it to me in another way. Not my choice, I guess. My question for now –  when does it become too much to be repeatedly forced to see things in a different light and to let go of control? Apparently I am WAY more stubborn than I thought. But His message has been received, loud and clear.

I am also quite humbled. By ALL those who have offered to help, have helped and will help in the coming weeks. I am sure I will be saying “thank you” for a long time and to many, many people.

For now, I know God has got this and he’s got me. And I will take this time to slow down and take care of myself and heal.

 

This time his help comes through his people; my family and friends.