Since I cannot use my camera right now I was looking back at pictures from this time last year and pondering some things…
It’s amazing and crazy all at the same time how our kids just keep growing right before our eyes but we don’t really see it until we LOOK back.
And all at the same time we are “growing” too, as people, as parents. We are changing in ways we don’t necessarily see until we LOOK back. And we think about what we used to be and who we are now and that’s just about as amazing and crazy too. It’s hard to explain. But it’s there.
Sometimes I still think of myself as the “girl” that I use to be who had a penchant for writing angsty poetry and listened to music ALL the time. Or could spend a whole Saturday at the mall shopping or hours in the used book store looking for recipe books or books about home decor. Or when I was a “working girl”, and who I was when it was just Tim and I, before the kids were our primary focus.
And speaking of focus, some days it is askew. There are occasions when I wish for that time back, to just “spend”. I do. I admit it. But then of course one of the cutest kids ever makes me laugh or tells me that they love me or gives me a kiss right square on the lips and I remember that I wouldn’t change a thing. Except who I am, in some ways, for them.
The other day I was at The B Man’s school for a fundraiser and found myself amongst other parents my age and even a little older. I looked at them and thought, “How did I get here? Hanging out with other Moms who have school-aged kids… wearing fanny packs..?” (mind you, I was NOT wearing a fanny pack myself…). I mean, I was just in high school yesterday.
I appreciate the changes and take them in stride, looking forward, especially as I do get older. But really, sometimes I do wonder, how did I get here, and so fast?
I think about that too – especially when I’m at little kid parties. This is like what we do now – we are parents with a small child and we go to little kid parties with the same friends that we used to stay up late with drinking wine when it was just us adults. It’s kind of weird sometimes!
Aw, love this post, Elaine. It’s amazing, to look back. I do that all the time, with my children’s baby pictures, or just reading through the journals I for them. I tell them stories all the time about when they were babies, and it makes me so misty-eyed! I hate how fast time moves, because I really do want to take it all in, and keep them little like this, you know? It’s totally funny that we’re the adults now. Scary, too, huh?
I feel that way a lot. Especially now that I’m losing weight. I feel like I can’t SEE a difference until I look at an old picture. Since little changes take place everyday. Same for my girl. I FORGET her newborn baby ways until I go look a picture. Life is weird like that.
some good thoughts rattling around in your head about who you have been and who you are and how they all come together to make you 😀
Amen, sister. Because I swear I’m still just a kid myself, how do I have a 10-year-old? I can’t be old enough to have a 10-year-old? It’s just not possible. And yet here I am.
Growing as a mom is almost as lightning-fast as growing as a kid. We just can’t tell! Love this post. Makes me want to look back at old pictures of myself and my kids and me and hubby before the kids!
People tell me a lot that this time – when the kids are small, goes by really fast, and it scares me to think about it. I can hardly believe I’m 32, and that I’ve been with my husband for ten years – all these things remind us how quickly time / life passes. It’s good to think about it, because it makes us appreciate these moments more.
I ask myself this pretty regularly. It’s good to know other people have the same quandary 🙂
I feel like this so often. I’ve actually written about it before, probably too many times. Actually, I just wrote about it a couple of days ago when I found some of my old journals from high school and college. So crazy. Just nuts.
I really don’t know how I got here so fast. And I hear it doesn’t get any easier to take. My mom always tells me she feels like she should still be in her twenties and now her KIDS aren’t even in their twenties anymore. She has GRANDKIDS in their twenties. Wha????
That picture is so stinkin cute!
I’m 37 and still feel like that early-20’s girl much of the time. I have a son who turns 18 this month!
I don’t even really know where I’m at, much less how I got here.
I was just thinkng about this today. I had a brunch party at my house and all but 2 of us have kids. There were 2 babies and my daughter at the brunch and it just seemed normal. I’m content where I am in life. That makes me happy. I always felt anxious and angsty and now I know it was because I hadn’t allowed my mind to settle down.
Oh me too. Especially when I am climbing into my giant white van! 😉 I know without a doubt that this is precisely where I am supposed to be, working on being the person I am supposed to be, but it still sometimes surprises me.