As I was driving back from picking up The B Man’s school supplies the other day, it struck me.
“Tim would never do this.”
And I don’t mean that in a negative or mean or bitter way.
I just mean he wouldn’t.
School supplies are my ‘job’.
Partly because I don’t work so, uh yeah. HELLO! Very much a part of my duties in the family.
And also, because he DOES work. A LOT. And part of his job?
Is not to have to worry about stuff like that.
At all.
We have a pretty ‘traditional’ set up here in our household (not to say that he does not help because he SO does) and that works for us.
I also realized that another PART of the reason that I do things like school supplies and MOST of the grocery shopping and clothes shopping and all that…
Is because I’m kind of a control freak.
And I don’t mean that in a mean or negative or bitter way.
I just AM.
There are MANY things that I like done my way.
I even like the dishwasher loaded in a certain fashion.
Each type of utensil together. Big plates at the front, little plates at back…
You get the picture.
And you better tri-fold the towels or there could be a minor breakdown, depending on the time of the month.
(okay, maybe it’s not that bad… but it’s probably a good idea to just do it ‘right’, k?)
The other day Tim started a load of laundry without using the sorter on wheels (which is MY way of doing it – gather all items from all hampers, sort them in the main sorter and THEN get started).
I thought I might blow a gasket.
How could he do it that way??
His point was that it didn’t matter how it was started, just that is WAS started!
Okay I get that but…
Anyway, this is just a little self discovery I’ve learned lately.
I’ve also learned that some things?
You just have to let go.
If Tim had offered to go buy the school supplies.
Well, I probably would have let him.
But he’d better have bought the right scissors and crayons and composition book or…
Let’s just say for now, it’s best that I did it…
So what about you?
Do you like to be in control or are you okay with letting others do things their way and letting go of stuff?
Just curious.
(which translates to please tell me I am not alone. I know I can’t control you, but still, help a sister out here…)
P.S. For all those of you who commented on my S.O.S. post, thank you. It took about a week but we did CIO and Baby K is now sleeping through the night with no bottle at “bleepity-bleep too early” a.m. YAY! And WAHOO!!!
P.P.S. I am MUCH more well rested…
Oh I am very much a control freak! Just yesterday I ran out to get a haircut and left a sink full of dishes, I came home to an empty sink 🙂 Any NORMAL wife would have been thrilled, but me, nope, not me, I opened the dishwasher and restacked the stuff LOL…I did however thank him for his effort
If I sent my Tim for school stuff he would bring back half of the stuff and say he could not “find ” the rest…since I enjoy that stuff I figure it’s best for me to do anyways!
As for the dishwasher, hubby is the control freak and often reloads my work…but thats what makes a relationship work right? Ying and yang!
Glad the CIO worked, with 3 kids you need some sleep girl!!!
I am a COMPLETE control freak. There have been arguments in our house about the way the towels are folded and D is NOT allowed to wash any of my clothes (he’s ruined way too many of them). I gave up control of our finances because it was stressing me out way too much but I don’t think I could ever give up the grocery shopping!
I’m a control freak, but slightly reformed. My days have gotten so crazy that if I get help on my “normal” stuff, I just take it as the blessing that it is. *I* didn’t have to do it, so I’m thankful. Unless someone washes and dries my bras/exercise clothes in with jeans. Ahem. Not that anybody has ever done that before. I’m a stickler about the dishwasher though. If things don’t get put in correctly, then they don’t get clean. And the kids will just unload them with dried food stuck to them. Not pretty. Anyway, you’re not alone, but I’ve learned to let go a bit over the last 12+ years.
We are similiar though when I get really busy with my work, he does have to get groceries. It is almost more work for me though because I have to put every little thing on the list – you know like milk – we always need that, why does it need to be on the list?
Wow, apparently I have anger issues about this.
School supplies are my area – I LOVE shopping for those.
High five fellow control freak! And I mean that in the nicest way possible otherwise I am insulting myself 🙂
I am a total control freak, just breathing is not something I can do easily to let things slide. trying to do it a little more, but sometimes it just doesn’t make sense to do it any other way then the way i have in my head!
I am exactly the same way! I always have to stop and remind myself that just because it’s not the way I do it, that doesn’t make it wrong. (Even if it does, hmph!)
It’s so hard to let go of the control!!
My husband is like you, but I’m not. I think that pretty much explains why he does all the laundry. 😉
Nah, we’re pretty easy going here in the house of Quirk. Sometimes he loads the dishwasher (never fills it up completely, thus leaving dirty dishes around even while running it) and sometimes I do (jam every possible thing in there, even if it means running it twice to get it all clean). I figure with him half loading it and me overloading it, it all equals out in the end. We’re usually just happy that the other one took care of it.
i’m a control freak – but i also am jealous and want you to get over it.
my mutant is very traditional (except for the whole me working 40 hours a week thing – that’s fine with him) so i do all the house hold chores. i’d love to come home and see him do any kind of laundry.
but if things weren’t folded a certain way it would drive me nuts. i would have to bit my tongue and use all my strength not to comment.
since him doing laundry will never happen i guess i’m in the clear 😉
I could have totally written this post. I am so much like you. I like being in control and wear the pants in the family. Sometimes, too much for my own good. I need to let go more.
This was a big issue for me when hubs and I got married. I am one of those “there is only one way to do things… my way” type person. Then I realized that’s how my Mom is and I hated it as a kid that I would clean the bathrooms and she’d go back and do it again “her” way and I’d not want to do it again, because why do it twice. So with my husband I realized I appreciate him helping more than I do things being done a certian way… I let it go. If it’s done, that’s the important thing. It took work, but I let it go and I never went behind him and “re-did” things so that he wouldn’t quit helping with certian things.
Um, I don’t even use the dishwasher because I don’t think it does a good enough job. And I don’t trust anyone else to do the dishes because I don’t think they do a good enough job.
Now that’s a control freak. Also a person who probably needs professional help 😉
Hmmmm….sounds like our house. 😉
Um, yeah. Control freak. That’s me. But I tell ya what, when you are the one doing something day after day the same way, you know what works. You know the fastest, best, cheapest, multitasking, easiest way to do things. That is just how it is. My hubby doesn’t question me anymore. He knows I know better. 😉
So glad you are sleeping! You must tell us how you did it!
So glad everyone is getting more sleep!
I am not much of a control freak. I could be, but I usually am able to let it go. Husband loads the dishwasher differently and puts away the silverware differently (makes me crazy!) but I keep my mouth shut because at least I didn’t have to do it. But, when my kids fold the towels I always refold them when I put them away.
And we have a similar setup and I am mostly okay with that. But, it bothers me when I am sitting on the floor folding the baby clothes and Husband’s clothes and my clothes and he is sitting on the couch just watching tv. I try to offer it up though!
Yes, I’m totally a control freak! But, I’ve learning to hand things over, too…we have to since we both work. And, it works good for us.
(So glad you are getting sleep!)
I am such a control freak, but my hubs rarely takes laundry on….so I don’t have to worry about that! LOL
Catching up on blog posts… 🙂
I feel the SAME WAY! We are very similar..I knew I liked you. Although somedays I feel…I want a job and I want to be out of the house. But then if I was out of the house, who would do things the way I want them done? Who would go to the grocery store and only buy the things that need to be bought… So I am right there with you 🙂