I Still Wear The Earrings

I am a very sentimental person. When I was a kid I made scrapbooks from those old “magnetic” photo albums, which contained everything from concert tickets, to cards people gave my mother when I was born. I think there are even some dried flowers still clinging to a few of the pages. All of these books are still stored in my house and have moved everywhere I have. I also have bins full of old letters and photographs, cards and other paper keepsakes. I assume the same penchant I have for saving things is why I love to write about my life and ultimately why I became a blogger/writer.

I mention my sentimentality because though I see it as a good trait, it can also be to my demise. That is, my emotional demise. It’s especially hard for sentimental people to go through a divorce. Suddenly, all those keepsakes from your years together feel tainted in some way. It feels like they should be thrown out and discarded, as if that time of our life never happened. However, it is hard to completely discount so many years of your life and the events during that time, such as the birth of children, other celebrations and travels. It also doesn’t help that Facebook has a “Memories” section. It’s difficult for someone like me to to go back and delete all those photos.

Even though I am remarried, I have kept most of the stuff from my first marriage, mostly so my kids can have these items if they want, and see there were good memories. Honestly, I have never taken the time to separate and decide on each and every photograph or paper memory. When I have come across them, I have simply stuck them lower or farther back in the box. It hurts my heart to think of throwing them away, but I also cannot really think of a reason to keep them all. Looking back on that time in my life is fine in regards to my children, and our marriage wasn’t a complete disaster, it just wasn’t ever going to be for the long haul.

I also received several gifts from my ex husband over the years. An item I kept and probably will continue to, is a pair of diamond earrings. He gave them to me shortly before we split. I told some friends the other day how I consider them a “parting gift”. I believe he gave them to me in good faith at the time because he knew I would enjoy them. The only thing is, someone I am no longer with gave them to me and yes, is seems a little strange. Because he wasn’t just a boyfriend, he was my husband and we had three kids and many years together. One friend suggested I trade them in. My response was, “for the same thing?” Maybe trading them out would be a good thing but is it really worth it?

Is it okay to be reminded of my ex husband every now again? I mean, I don’t hate him. I just don’t like him very much anymore. For the sake of moving on and away, should the earrings go away too? I think the only reason I would do so was if my husband now were offended by them, and last I checked he is not. Would I care if he wore a watch his ex wife gave him (he would never, by the way)? I don’t think so, as long as he saw it as just a watch.

So, if I can label the earrings as “The Earrings of Indifference”, it is not a big deal to still decorate my ears with them. I can view them as the small, hard rocks they are and be fine with it. In the end, does it really matter who they came from? They were a birthday present and I continue to celebrate that every year…

The past photos and other keepsakes are what they are. They represent a part of my story I cannot completely deny, but which has been written and put away in the archives. My sentimental self will remember them occasionally because I just cannot help it. However, my focus now is on my current love and the family we have built together, making new memories and cherishing them all the more.