The Miss Elaine-ous Life

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How I Almost Didn’t Marry Their Daddy

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A week or so ago I mentioned here that I broke up with Tim 3 weeks before we got engaged. I know that doesn’t sound very romantic, but it did turn out wonderfully, as you could all guess.

So here’s how the story goes…

The day I decided to do it was New Year’s Day of 1999. A new year, a new me, right? And yes, we partied the night before “like it was 1999!” But if it was time to move on, I was ready to do so.

After 3 years of dating I felt more than ready for us to move to the next step (engagement and then marriage) but Tim didn’t think he was. We were pretty young, only 23 and 24, but I felt after that amount of time, if he REALLY wanted to be with me he would know.

He came home to Austin with me that Christmas and I enjoyed him being there with my family and we had a good time, but I knew in the back of my head that it was time for me to move on.

After I told him and we talked for a few hours, he agreed that we should part ways, if I felt that strongly about it. Yes, I’d basically given him an ultimatum but I was in love with him and if he wasn’t with me (even though I felt he was, and was just scared…) I would have to let him go.

I was a wreck for the first few days. I broke down at work and when my boss found me in the back of the store and asked what was going on, I lost it. Some days later, Tim sent me flowers at work. A huge beautiful bouquet of red roses. The assistant manager of the store said they were for me and I didn’t believe him. After I read the card I called Tim at work and asked him why in the world he would send me RED roses. He said they were supposed to be yellow, not red. I said (and I quote) “well, they’re as red as the blood that courses through my veins!!!”

Even though I was upset about the flowers, I felt a little better. It was almost like a sign. I knew he was thinking of me and in a good way. And I figured he was probably missing me too.

We carried on for the next couple of weeks and talked a few times. I went with some of my girlfriends to a singles group from one of their churches. I was trying to move on. I wasn’t ready for a new relationship, by any means, and I think it was more to distract myself from the situation at hand.

But then, on his way home from being out of town for work, Tim called me from the airport and said he wanted to come over to my place and talk.

I was never so happy to see his face when he walked in the door.

And it didn’t take long for his words to soothe my heart and make me realize we WERE going to be together. He had missed me like crazy. He wanted us to be married and wanted to live his life with me, and only me.

It wasn’t an official proposal, that would come later, but it was still one of the happiest days of my life. The person that I’d felt close to from the moment I met him, was to be my husband. And that was all I cared about.

We used to say about that LONG three-week period that we were “bleeped.” We didn’t like to say “broken up.” But we were “broken up” without each other. I always remember Tim’s boss at the time (who continues to be a good family friend) saying he was miserable without me and that he told Tim to just go back and get me already!

It may not be the most “ideal” story but it’s ours and I think that time apart made all the difference for both of us.

Tim is the love of my life. My soul mate. When you can look across the room at someone and they know EXACTLY what you are thinking, that is the ultimate. When you KNOW that you can count on them for anything and trust them with your heart, it is truly amazing.

On this, our 13th Valentine’s Day together, I just want him to know that I love him so much and that my life is complete because he is in it. Thank you Tim, my love, for being you and for being mine. I’m yours forever….

(our “official” engagement photo)

This post was written from my heart and for the S.W.A.K. Carnival going on at We Are THAT Family. You should join up and celebrate by telling any part of your love story or even just how much you love your S.O. (significant other). There are even prizes!

elaine

Comments

  2. Aww. That is so sweet. Sometimes (when it is meant to be) absence really does make the heart grow fonder. 🙂

  15. Oh what a romantic story! Isn’t it cool to look back and realize when things are meant to be? 🙂

    I love how you said you were young at 23 and 24… haha. Considering I got married at 18! ah!

  17. proof that absence does make the heart grow fonder! i think that is a great story…

    i have been reading all of these love stories and i tell you, it really makes me appreciate my man so much and inspires me to love him even more!

  23. You’re killin’ me with the sweetness here. Love it that the time apart just showed you both how much you belong together. And having seen you two together – YES, you really do have something special.

    Oh, and umm, I’m 25 now. ;o)

  24. Such a sweet and happy ending to that story! Obviously you guys just needed some time apart for Tim to realise that he wanted to be together forever. Awww!

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  25. We broke up after we were engaged – in a similar way. I remember taking the ring off and going to something at the sorority house where everybody kept saying I was far too calm. I knew we’d get back together. I think you sometimes need to step back from something like marriage – esp us Catholics that only get to do it once ever no matter what.

  31. Oh wow! What a great ending to your story 🙂

    I had to give Jay and ultimatum too, we had been together for 4 years!!!! We didn’t break up though but there were some tense moments. I like to remind him often about how right I was 😉

  33. Great story! I love how in true love stories that it seems like if it didn’t happen exactly the way it did, with all its complexities, then it would never have happened. Thank God for the way things work out!

  37. My DH and I did the same thing before getting engaged. Only, he broke up with me!! We took a “break” for about 3 months and still talked and stayed friends. After September 11th, he knew he didn’t want to lose me!