Get The Behavior You Want… {The Three R’s of Parenting}

You know what is really good?  To have a doctor friend in your back pocket.  Or even your front pocket works, just make sure she doesn’t fall out. 😉

I have a friend who is a doctor and not only is she a really good one, but she is also a parenting pro!  Many times her advice has made me think, “Wow, what a great idea!” or “That would totally work!”

 

Dr. Deborah Gilboa is my friend and adviser, even though we live far apart (Oh how I wish she could be the doctor we see!).

I just recently finished reading her amazing book, Get The Behavior You Want… Without Being the Parent You Hate! and it was interesting to realize two things:

A) I am already doing some of the things she suggested!

B) Wow, I should really start doing some of the things she suggested!

 

 

Dr. G’s book is broken down into what I like the call The Three R’s of Parenting – Respect, Responsibility and Resilience.

After she gives you excellent, concise chapters on the three R’s, she then gives practical advice on how to implement these ideas and tips.

It’s brilliant really because she also breaks it down by age.  If you are dealing with a toddler, she’s got your covered.  If you are really in the trenches and working with a teenager, she has wonderful advice there too, and for all the ages in between as well.

Another thing I really like about this book is that Dr. G doesn’t act like she knows it all or is perfect.  Instead, she is your partner in helping you to learn how to deal with certain resistance that children naturally give.  She is more than willing to admit (and does) that she is not the perfect parent and gives a few stories within the book that make you realize we ALL make errs in judgement sometimes while parenting, and even our own behavior is in check sometimes (I know mine is!)

 

I like how she begins the book by talking about Respect and the fact that we must respect ourselves in order to respect others, like our parents, siblings and anyone we meet along the way.  Dr. G says, “Everyone we meet deserves our respect”.  And in learning self respect we also learn to negate negative peer pressure and have stronger decision making abilities.  (This even applies to some adults I know {me}).

Next she addresses the need for Responsibility in children and the fact that “everything we want children to be able to do as adults we have to make sure they learn as kids.”  Seems so simple right?  But even I have a hard time letting them fold a towel “the wrong way.” However, it is to my benefit AND theirs if I do.  Now, guess what – they can fold and put away their own laundry! Yay for that!

We also want our kids to be Resilient, another thing they MUST learn for adulthood.  That third “R” is pretty important as far as I am concerned. In these chapters Dr. G says at one point, “prepare your child for the road, rather than trying to preapre the road for your child.”  I love that!  So wise! We must teach our kids decision making, problem solving and how to navigate certain situations on their own.

 

 

I recommend this book to ALL parents as a useful and helpful guide.  You do not have to read it from cover to cover, you can skip around as needed and again, use it for your child at whichever age they are currently.

You can purchase the book on Amazon and you can also watch Dr. G’s videos on her YouTube channel – Ask Dr. G (she’s a bit of a t.v. star as well).  I have gotten SO much out of these – her videos are short yet informative.

 

Dr. G is on our side and encourages us to raise our children to be respectful, responsible and resilient.  This book will help you to put all of that in play and help your kids become  adults you can be especially proud of.