Full

The calendar keeps surprising me. Another year is almost gone. Next week is Thanksgiving and then the hustle and bustle of the Christmas holidays begin. Before we can barely blink, my champagne glass will be full and I will once again resolve to do better in some way.

Every year at this time, I feel a yearning (as I know many do) to acknowledge the immense blessings in my life – my three children, my wonderful boyfriend and his two children, and all of my family and friends. Also, my home and the things within it, the food on my table and clean water to drink. The fact that my body is healthy and able and my kids’ bodies are too. These are all the things my children and I thank God for each night, when we pray together.

Living in this country is also a blessing, although lately I am wondering what is happening to that truth and that feeling. I don’t mean to be a downer, and I know that this is still one of the best places on earth to reside, however, sometimes I long for more justice. Our freedom is an amazing thing that I know not everyone on this planet enjoys like we do, and I am most thankful for it and for the men and women who sacrificed their lives and families to make it so. I just want to feel safe and have my kids feel safe as well. Lately that has been somewhat compromised. I continuously thank God for keeping us safe and well. I pray for all those who are struggling this holiday season, for any reason and I hope for them a better life. I hope they have faith and hope too, even in the hard times. For me, that is when I tend to lean on my faith the most.

I am blessed that next week I will sit around a table full of food, with loved ones on either side of me, as we pray and laugh and give thanks. I know not everyone has this opportunity. This past year has been one of true thanksgiving, as I have had the opportunity to start my life anew in some important ways, including a new home and a new job. Have there been difficulties? Absolutely. But I try to never lose sight of how blessed I am and send out true thankfulness for what God has bestowed upon me and my family. I say, “I try” because of course we cannot always be perfect in this area. He did make us human after all.

The way I feel most blessed is how my life is so full. Even though the stress of the everyday can sometimes cloud that, and make me feel overwhelmed, I feel it when I have a moment to sit back and take a breath. I am surrounded by people who love me and who I love back. I am encompassed by goodness and abundance. The fullness of each day and month and year only proves this more.

Recently I sat in the quiet house, while the kids were at their dad’s. I looked around, giving my brain a panoramic shot of all that literally surrounds me. I opened the door to the patio and listened to the stillness and the birds. I took a deep breath, inhaling the cool air and exhaled some anxious feelings. I remembered how again very soon, the house would be full of children and liveliness. So I did my best to pause and take in the moment, knowing it was good for my soul. And once again I gave thanks to my God above for everything this life has offered me so far. The good continues. I am truly thankful with all my heart.