I have one eye on my little blondie doing circles in the water, his arms draped over his circular floatie.
The toddler clings to my side as we wade in the water, her baby toes digging into my skin through my suit.
I feel the sun baking my skin even after applying copious amounts of SPF 50. I breathe in the chlorine smell over and over.
I watch other mothers with their kids, adjusting colorful goggles, helping them float, slathering them with sunscreen.
I look to the right and I see her.
She walks into the water like she could easily part it with her tan, thin legs.
Her long dark hair cascades down her nearly naked back.
Her svelte abdomen shows no signs of childbirth or ever eating a cheeseburger and fries.
By today’s standards she is nearly perfect.
I am aware that my eyes are not the only ones following her.
I curse at her under my breath, all the while wishing I could be her, even if only for just one day.
I wonder what it’s like to be her size and never EVER have to worry about what people think of my figure, my thighs, my tummy rolls.
She sinks into the water slowly and I’m brought out of my trance as my little guy calls for me.
“Mommy! Watch me twirl!”
“Yes baby, I see you!”
She disappears under the water as I wade toward the “lazy river” with my babies.
I try to put her out of my mind as I feel my own, strong body in the water, reassuring myself that I AM confident in my own skin.
I’m guessing she has her own insecurities that I know nothing about. Although I’m not sure how that is even possible.
I know I will never look like her since I never have in my life. But that doesn’t mean I still don’t wish I did. Even if only for just one day.
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