Drop Off and Pick Up

There were a few tears as I walked them to where their classes were gathering.  I was nervous times three.  I could feel it all morning.  I didn’t even sleep well the night before.  My tummy was full of butterflies and flipping and flopping FOR them.  I can only imagine how they were feeling.  A totally new place.  New friends.  New everything. Yes, they have visited before. But still.

After I made sure their big brother was situated (that was the easy part) two little hands grasped each of mine and I could see the anticipation building.  I could feel it. My heart felt the complete push and pull of wanting to stay by their sides and needing to walk away.  There is so much of this in motherhood.  But this day…. it felt even more.

My boy who is shy getting to know people and so sensitive.  My little girl who is timid at first too, but once she gets to know you, is usually okay.

My little girl starting Kindergarten!!  All three of them in school…

I drove away enjoying the silence. But…

Once I returned home I cried off and on all day.  Where were they? Why was it so quiet? I wanted the quiet.  I longed for it.  But now it was too much.

I tried turning on the t.v. for background noise but the “connection was lost”.  I get it t.v. My connection is lost too…

We spent so much time together this summer.  Sometimes it felt like too much, but of course now that they are all gone it feels like not enough.

Too much. Not enough.

The balance came in the afternoon when I picked them up and they were all smiles as they piled into the van.   Each one exclaiming they had a great day and that it was awesome!

My heart sung.  I was so glad to see them again. Even if they were asking for snacks and talking over one another.

We were all together again and they were good and I was great and we would do it all again tomorrow.