Don’t Cry For Me…

Last night I had a good cry. I don’t cry that much anymore. I mean, sure, I cry sometimes, just like any normal 40-ish year old woman. But I do not cry nearly as much as I did about 10 months ago., or even six. Last year at this time this week I was still with my husband. Things weren’t great, I’ll admit. But they were fine. We were going to work it out.

Or not.

(the things we tell ourselves that aren’t true…)

 

My girl turned 7 years old at the beginning of this month. And now the month is half over. She will be eight before I know it. The years fly by and I am not planning on spending them crying. In many ways, I have already moved on.

Isn’t she beautiful? I hope I can teach her to be more self-confident and even self-reliant than I was in the past.

A year ago at this time I was posting about my Daddy’s recovery from heart surgery and my first time to Type A.

My how life can change in such a short time! (although since then, there were days and weeks that felt like years…)

There was a lot of pain during that time. A. LOT. There still is a bit of a sting from the wounds. Some may never FULLY heal. Only more time will tell.

 

I took a class for my job the yesterday about motivation, and in one section of the day we talked about being a pessimist vs. an optimist. I realized during the instructor’s description of these two things that there was a point in my life when I might have been considered a “pessimist” about certain things, or even in general.

I never want to have that label.

Anxiety does funny/sad/weird things to us. And typically it is heightened when there is a catalyst in our lives that makes it skyrocket.

I had one of those things in my life.

“Had” being the operative word.

 

 

I like to think my perspective is quite optimistic, even while going through a divorce. I have a good life. Did one portion of it go completely off the track I had planned for it to stay on? Yep. But that’s alright because A)It’s for the best and  B)The future is crazy bright.

See? Optimist. 🙂

And I have people like these in my life.

I mean really, how could I go wrong?

 

 

 

 

I am trying to get back on the running trail too. It’s hard, I will admit. Especially since I still like to eat ALLTHETHINGS and carbs seem to be my best friends right now. And no, not the “good” ones.

I think I am on the cusp of some more big changes. I can sort of feel them brewing. Some things in my my life are in up in the air right now and no, I’m not trying to be vague, but they are currently vague-ish, so I have to be that way. I’m not a big fan of limbo, however life seems to keep teaching me that some most things are not under my control. I am learning to “go with the flow”. It’s hard when that is not really your thing.

So, the only “plan” I have at this point is to be open to what is next, either a little way down the road, or just around the corner. Possibility and optimism are my current two favorite words. Well, besides “chocolate”. I like that one a lot too.

Funny where a year can take us, huh?

As you can see from the photo above, my Daddy is doing well. The kids can barely sit amongst the pumpkins because they are so big and one of them will soon be as tall as me.

 

As for my changes? I am out of the cage, referenced in that quote above. I plan to fly and whoever wants to fly with me is welcome. I CAN still be so many things, there is plenty of time. And I hope to teach my little birdies to do the same. No more cages. Only trees and blue skies…

 

Linked up with Mama Kat – what was I writing about last year at this time…