I was watching a daytime talk show the other day (this rarely happens, by the way…) and Kelly Ripa and her husband were on, talking about their kids and life, etc. At one point Rachel Ray asked them if they have a favorite child and they said yes but they would never tell who. But then Kelly did say the child’s name and said it was okay to tell because they were all at school and wouldn’t hear them. This was all said in good humor and lightness and then her husband (Mark, I think?) said it was because this child was the nicest to them (him and Kelly) and the audience laughed, as did I.
But for some reason the phrase “favorite child” really got me thinking.
I presume all parents have a kid they “favor” over others at times. We are only human after all. But I know, at least in my case anyway, it changes as the children also change, grow and develop. I’m sure many of you know what I mean.
I didn’t only think about my own parenting situation but that of my parents’ as well. Do they each have a favorite? And if so, who did they settle on now that we are all out of the house and have our own kids? Do the grandchildren now play a part in their favoritism as well? I wonder.
I do not believe either of my parents would claim a favorite but just from our own personal family dynamic I can probably venture a guess. Is it me? Perhaps. Does it really matter to me?
Nope.
There are a couple of other good candidates and I know they love us all unconditionally and for our own individuality and so that is good enough for me.
Of course these thoughts bring me back around and I think about my three children and who might I favor at any given time, or any given hour, for that matter! One day it could be the child who sported the cutest smile while I was taking their picture or the one that listened well. The next day it could be the kid that did not wake me up during the night or ate all their dinner without complaint.
Or you know, the one that told me I looked pretty that day. J
What I’m trying to say is that of course I do not have a favorite child overall but that doesn’t mean there are not days where one of them might be more on my good side.
I just hope they know that I love them all so much no matter what, just like I know my parents do their children.
yes, I am milkin’ the pumpkin patch pics for all they’re worth. thankyouverymuch
So, do you have a favorite? Go ahead and spill. I promise I won’t tell…
When I am old and gray my favorite child will be the one who lets me live with them – or buys me a really nice condo in Florida.
They are totally both my favorite on different days for different reasons. You know what I mean.
I only have one for now, so I don’t know if I will. But I have a feeling I’ll probably be like you.
I’m too conscious of the fact of how obvious favoritism will affect the child, so I do hope I won’t do that to my own children. My parents had favorites – and let’s say I wasn’t one of them 😉
Hey Elaine!
Thanks so much for dropping by. You are so sweet.
Wow…your children have grown and they are just adorable!
Now on the favorites. You are truly a wise woman.
My mom who had 6 children told me once her favorite was the one who needed her the most at that time.
Many years later I feel the same way. It’s just like you said, who was the kindest that day or who was struggling the most.
How can you measure your love for each child? They are all so unique!
I’ll be back to visit again!
I think that at times there is a ‘favorite’ child but it changes multiple times a day. Its like this, I will always love my children but I don’t have to like them or their behavior every second of the day. TO me that is what a ‘favorite’ means.
I agree with you. I don’t think that parents really have favorites, but that a child may go through a phase that makes you feel closer to them at that time. And they all take turns. Of course there can be children that you just feel you have so much in common with and that might make you feel a little closer to them. I have always felt that way with my parents. They have a good relationship with all of their kids but I had a special connection with them. And I caused them the least grief. 😉
I heard a story about a mom who told each child in secret that they were her favorite, but not to tell the siblings cuz it would hurt their feelings. As they got older they finally figured it out. So cute. Love that.
I do believe this happens. I know that in my hubs family- his sister was the favorite. This was blatantly obvious & it did trickle down into who are the favored grandchildren. Again- blatantly obvious. It’s hurtful to see & when my kids notice & say something- it is a painful lesson to discuss with them. (I also see it with my mom’s siblings- again- one child favored & the rest treated like you know what until they are needed for something)
As for my own kids- I have days when I favor one for whatever reason- usually because they are being the most helpful & sweet & so they get to spend extra time with me doing whatever. The oldest gets to do things that could be considered as special treatment- but it’s really because he is the most capable. And it’s usually some chore or helping out with something. We try to go out of our way to make sure that things like gifts are always equal & the slice of cake is the same size & whatever else we can. We don’t want them to get the idea that we preferred one over another- I love my kids & try to make sure they know it- both as individuals & as a collective.
i like them each differently at any given time, but i love them all the same 🙂
It’s the same here. It changes daily (or sometimes, hourly). I say that I love them all equally, but differently.
I love them the same amount, but in different ways so sometimes it may appear that one is a favorite over the other. I just can’t imagine though clearly favoring one over the other.
The joy of only having one is that I can tell her “You’re my favorite daughter today” and tell her “You’re not my favorite right now” and mean it both times. 😉
My 3 sons are all my favorite, just not often at the same time…
My parents ave a favorite. It’s fairly obvious. 😉
Have you seen that commercial about the girl who goes off to college and she’s thinking about how her parents are probably sitting at home wondering what they’ll do without her and she says, “I am their only daughter. Well, except for my sister.” I love that.
We have a favorite at any given moment. A favorite for this, a favorite for that, and a favorite depending on their moods. But not a clear favorite. They are both SO different, you could never pick one. 🙂
Well, I’ve only got the one and he is my favorite child on the planet. I worry about having another one – what if the next one isn’t as awesome as this one?
Oh, the guilt that even comes with thinking that.
I’m totally with you. No lifetime favorites here. Of course, if you ask at a certain moment, odds are pretty good that one will be in my graces more than the other one. But that’s life.
Having said that, pretty sure there were some favorites played when I was growing up….and it’s pretty dang hurtful!
I think you said it perfectly – on different days but never in the general scheme of life
I try not to favor one over the other. It is hard, like you said, when one is just going through a phase that is driving you nuts! I don’t know if I was the hands down favorite, but my brother sure seems to think I was and it has cause a lot of animosity between us over the years. I want my kids to be close, so I will try hard not to ever give that impression tot them!