The Miss Elaine-ous Life

random acts of life, family and photos

Did Y’all Know That I am “Frumpy”?

by

Yeah, me neither.

Turns out some stranger on the Huffington Post FB page thinks I am.  I’m also supposedly a bad selfie-taker and because I do not like to impulse buy lipstick and shoes (okay the second one is kind of a lie…), I am “lame”.  People also inferred that I like to sit around in yoga pants all the time and that I no longer like to go to concerts.  I never said anything about either of those things.  And yes, I DO like to eat cookie dough ice cream (at a certain time each month, Ahem) so I must be the worst, most boring MOM ever who loves to inhale junk food ALLTHETIME.

And yes, the fact that I have children got a WHOLE bunch of people riled up.  Did you know that apparently a TON of women who are 40 or older OR younger GREATLY dislike the idea that women are mothers???

Yeah, I didn’t know that either until I was featured on the H.P. with my things I’ve learned by 40 list.

And yes, they (HuffPo) changed the title from my original post and a few other things.  But some people are REALLY pissed they did not include the word  “mom” in the title.  I was called a “breeder” and my question to those would simply be, “Was YOUR mom a breeder?”  I also find it interesting that since they changed the title everyone on HuffPo missed out on the best part about the GAP making crappy shoes.  So instead of the comments being about that these readers were much more concerned with what time of day to take off your bra, or whether to even wear one or not.

 HuffPo ScreenShotThat’s me and my not-so-great-selfie on the Huffington Post FB page...

 

So yeah, turns out the post was more well-suited for my personal blog here, which by the way is the place where it got friendly, positive feedback (and garnered the MOST HITS I HAVE EVER HAD ON THIS BLOG EVER).  And in my own FB circles.  Go figure.

I posted a few things I learned about being featured on the H.P. the other day, on my FB wall.

But one thing I did not know at the time was that I could also be insulted in Spanish.  Because, yes, the article was also featured at El Huffington Post.  Where someone that read it there (and tweeted) compared me to Bridget Jones.  In a bad way.  I kinda like that comparison though.  Pretty bueno if you ask me. 😉

It’s just SO interesting to me how literally HUNDREDS of people who know NOTHING about me, and have only read that one little article I wrote, decided to say rude and insulting things about me both in the comments on the site and on the H.P. FB page.

A few people stood up for me and stated the obvious.  You know, that I cannot write what I have learned from the perspective of a non-mom because well, I’m not a non-mom (stay with me here).  Others stated the obvious, that my list is just ONE person’s perspective and that perhaps all these others (haters) could just respect that. I am also going to count 38K likes (and counting) and thousands of FB shares a win…

It’s just saddening to me that so many people have to be unkind and judgmental.  Right out of the gate.  Like I am the horse who never had a chance to win the race.  Very few people picked up on some of the positive things on the list – I had to go back and read and make sure they kept those things in there.  They did, by the way.

So, yes, I was thrilled to be featured there but I am also a little jaded now.  I’ve never had “trolls” on my own blog.  I suppose if people have not liked what I have to say they have mostly kept it to themselves.  And I get that the H.P. has a MUCHO (see what I did there?) broader audience than this little space here, but STILL.  Can’t we just be a little nicer?

 

I know something similar (on an even broader scope) happened to my friend Galit.  Of course, as is her way, she made sweet, kind lemonade out of lemons and now has a book that is indeed needed in this new world we are pioneering.  Kindness Wins is a mantra that many HuffPo readers might want to start adopting.  It is also the name of Galit’s new book that I will be reading very soon.  And yes, I am promoting it before reading because I KNOW the writer and if anyone could be an authority on this topic, it is her.

Please read all about her story and how the book came about.

And please, BE KIND, whether online or anywhere else.  I know I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but just go with it.

xo

 

Comments

  1. It blows my mind that you had such negativity on that list! It was so cute and funny! I think some people just look to be offended.

  2. I second what Shell said I can’t believe people were so offended by that post. I personally loved it and while I’m not 40 I related to most of it as I’m sure the 38k shares did as well. People are cruel online and it seems like many of them are just looking for an excuse to be nasty. While I haven’t met you in person, you are one of the nicest people I’ve met online and those haters don’t know what they are talking about.
    Julia recently posted…5 Ways Sahara Sam’s is Fun for FamiliesMy Profile

  4. Your post was awesome, and I loved that it got picked up by HuffPo, but I feared for you at the same time, because mainstream is scary. You rocked the perspective, because of course you did.

    Love you, girl. Keep on kickin’ ass, and being YOU, un-apolagetically, authentically, awesomely… you. <3
    Rachel – A Southern Fairytale recently posted…Mouthwatering Mondays {Week 92}My Profile

  5. I didn’t read the comments there, love, because I know people can be harsh. I loved your list, and I think of you every time I walk into a Gap and see their temptingly cute and not worth it shoes 😉

    It must be exhausting to be negative all the time! Keep smiling, lady. You are wonderful.
    angela recently posted…Experimenting with a #PerfectPlaydateMy Profile

    • Oh, I will Donna, write on! ;D And you’re correct, it’s easy to hide behind a screen…

  7. It really does boggle my mind that people can be so unkind and mean and how quickly they can be to insult, especially when hiding behind online comments. And your post! It was so great. I’m so sorry that you’ve had this experience.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Sharing StoriesMy Profile

    • It’s okay, Christine. I was just surprised and a little disappointed that people did not comment as much on the fun of it… 🙂

  8. I loved your post. I can’t believe you got insulted. People need to grow up. Maybe, when they hit 40, they’ll play nicer! Ok, maybe not. Jerks.

    • And WHY are they so grumpy, any way? GEEZ. As usual, Galit got it right, thank goodness! 🙂

    • You’re welcome, my friend. I thought it was pretty fitting and of course I want to promote your awesome book!

  11. Unkind and judgmental seems to be the nature of the beast anymore and it makes me sad. Can’t we all just get along? I loved your post. Keep writing from the heart. It’s why we all come to visit here.
    Nancy Collins recently posted…Wednesday Hodge PodgeMy Profile

  12. I feel like the anonymity of a comment on the internet makes people say things they never would say to someone’s face. I think it’s awful and a sad reflection of where society is at today. I don’t understand how a post such as yours, meant to be to tounge in cheek, elicits such a visceral response from people. Their comments truly say nothing about you and speak volumes about the type of people they are. The best thing about the internet is, if you don’t agree with a post, there is a little red X in the top right corner. 🙂 More people should use it and keep their comments to themselves. I have met you in person and even though we only spent a short time together, I think you’re awesome, so ignore the haters and keep on doing what you’re doing!

  13. See as much as I have wanted to be featured on bigger and better, it is the trolls and mean comments that have held me back a bit more to be honest. I loved your article by the way and just sad that there are these crazy people out there ready to pounce on just about anything written these days. But seriously sorry you had to deal with this and most definitely so much classier than this in my book.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…What’s in a Name?My Profile

  16. Oh yes – it seems the more exposure one gets the worse the comments get. I’m astounded by the level of rude that has become our society. It’s so sad – everyone sits behind the protection of their computer screen & they feel emboldened to say whatever. I feel bad for them because they have nothing else better to do than to get worked up over something they read, written by someone they don’t know. They lash out – because maybe it pointed out flaws they see in their own lives. Perhaps they just need something that brings them more joy in their lives – like having kids. (perhaps) Don’t let them get you down my friend – they don’t matter.
    Gina recently posted…Blueberry White Chocolate Pancake MuffinsMy Profile

  18. It feels like people are looking to be annoyed these days or to just last out. Your post was great and relatable and who would expect any one person to represent ALL THE PEOPLE. This makes me so mad on your behalf. This post here is great and you’ve taken the situation and turned it into some humor. Good for you!
    Nina recently posted…Does Marriage Mean the End of Certain Friendships?My Profile

  19. What bothers me more than the trolls is that your art was changed. I know that is the game we have to play when we are on someone else’s platform, but I still don’t care for it. That’s why I agree with your comment about keeping things on your own blog. I have done that with pieces I knew would be edited, but I knew that they really shouldn’t. I just decided to keep them in-house.
    Nicole Huffman Hollins recently posted…My Yearly Fast, Being Mad at God, a Crisis of Faith, and My Sexual Healing Journey by @NowWithNicoleMy Profile

  20. I wrote a whole post about how I have feelings too, after all the despicable comments on my vaccination post on Scary Mommy. Granted, that IS a polarizing topic and I came out strong in my opinions – just as the people opposed to it came out strongly too, if not more. Someone even suggested I wrote a more balanced post, and I was like, I can’t, because I don’t believe in the other side. Just like how you can’t write a non-mom related list because, well, YOU ARE A MOM, DUH PEOPLE.
    Alison recently posted…Mothering Twins: What It’s Really LikeMy Profile

    • Yeah, pretty hard to write from someone else’s perspective. I’ve only tried once or twice (just as a fun writing exercise) but certainly cannot write about things that are NOT my life experience at all!

  22. It’s crazy that people would try to pick you apart over that list. I thought it was fantastic. I think that people think that being a keyboard warrior makes them some kind of big shot, and it’s as if they forget that there is a real person on the other side of that screen. There is a really sad lack of personal integrity and accountability, especially online. You’ve got a really great attitude about this whole thing. As Taylor Swift would say, “Shake it off, shake it off”.
    Brandee recently posted…The adventures of Cat Man – (almost) Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

    • Brandee, that is why I commented back on the post. I thought maybe people might understand that I am a REAL person they are being rude to. Some did. Others, not so much…

      And thank you!

  23. I am so sorry. People are so cruel. It’s like people who read HuffPo and Scary Mommy are just waiting for something – anything to pounce on to ridicule. You could write something as innocent as the colour pink. “Pink? Why aren’t you writing about yellow? You never write about yellow you ugly sloth!” It’s just stupid. If you don’tn like something, just shut up and move on.
    I loved your post and I love you.
    Let them hate and be sad pandas…you know they are. xxo
    Kimberly recently posted…Sugar WastedMy Profile

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