Believing

I have been listening to the Christian station while tooling around in the van quite a  bit lately and I started to wonder why I was suddenly drawn to this music…

Well, the battery went out in my van a few weeks ago and Tim quickly installed a new one while at a gas station (where my van “died”, thankfully) while my friend and I had all of our SIX kids in there, on the way to the zoo. And, while the mean gas station worker lady yelled at us for blocking her gas pumps.  Yes, I am trying to make this long story short.  Sorry if that’s not working out so well.  Also, NEVER filling up at that gas station again. RUDE.

Anyway… after he put the new battery in all my radio station pre-sets were gone so I had to re-do them.  I decided it would be smart to do them in number order by station and so I started in the low 90.whatever on the good ole FM “dial”.  I’m old school like that.  While scanning I found the Christian station and decided to make it my first pre-set.  It was not on my pre-set stations at all before the dead battery.

I listened to a few songs on there the first day and then quickly changed back to my local, pop, most-recent songs played over and over and OVER station.

But lately I have been hitting the pre-set for KLOVE more and just letting it play.  The words soothe me and lately some major stress has crept back into my life and I just want to be able to let that go, even while driving my kids to everything on the planet or just in our small city.

 

I consider myself a somewhat spiritual and faithful person.  I was raised Catholic and continue to practice.  Although there are some beliefs within the church that I do not completely go along with, I still believe that it is the religion for me.  I know and believe God loves me no matter what choices I’ve made.  I also know that I am forgiven.  Not to say I should continue to do things to be forgiven for, but no one is perfect.  Thankfully God knows that.

Lately I’ve been praying a little harder and asking for God’s help more.

I want to be free of certain things that are holding me back from living the life I deserve to live and that I WANT to live.

 

Below are the lyrics to one of the songs I heard on the station recently.

 

I tend to be busier than I should be
I tend to think that time is going to wait for me
Sometimes I forget and take for granted
That it’s a beautiful life we live
I don’t want to miss the moments like this
This is a beautiful life You give

You’re the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat
Every day we get to breathe
You’re the reason for anything that lasts, every second chance
Every laugh
Life is so sweet
You’re the reason for every good thing

There will be days that give me more than I can take
But I know that You always make beauty from my heartache
Don’t want to forget or take for granted
That it’s a beautiful life we live
I’m not going to miss the moments like this
This is a beautiful life You give

It’s our family, it’s our friends
It’s the feeling that I get when I see my children smile
You’re the reason for this life, everything we love
It’s You alive in us
You’re alive in us

You are here in every moment, and I know that You’re every good thing
You are here in every moment, and I know that You’re the reason for
You are every good thing

-The Afters, “Every Good Thing”

 

 

Music has always played a big part in my life through my love for it and through my singing.  So it makes total sense that this is how I would find myself closer to God.

The words in the song above are very fitting for my life right now.

The words in many of the songs they play are fitting in my life right now.

 

Also, I can let me kids hear songs with words like “I wanna die young” or I can hope that they hear these songs instead and that somehow, by osmosis or just by hearing them repeatedly,  they will feel God’s love through the words as well.

 

I’m not a preachy person.  I have my own, private relationship with God.  I am not the best Catholic.  I am a good sinner.  I try to live my life with compassion and love for others and give a good example to my children on how to live their lives, now and once they are out on their own someday.

We try to remember to pray over our meals and at night before bed.  And we do pretty well.  But sometimes we are in too much of a hurry or just tired.

God knows that too.  It does not mean he is out of our minds or hearts.

I think it means he led me to listen to the Christian station because he knows I could use encouragement anywhere I can find it, even when I am in a hurry to get to gymnastics class…

 

That smile gives me encouragement too!