Yesterday we gathered as a family of five and smiled for the camera and laughed and kissed each other’s cheeks.
Monday morning came with a vengeance and brought non-listening ears and tears and frustration and new worries for a week ahead. At school. At work.
The sunlit counter scattered with the things of a busy family like pencils and papers and cups and catalogs and a random little boy sock. Scattered like my heart and brain.
And the vase of flowers still remains – a scented and colorful marker for 13 years of marriage. All those memories weaved through our two partnered brains like little threads that knot themselves and cannot come undone.
I run through my to-do list, loathing it a little but trying to remind myself that this is all I ever wanted. People to love like I was loved.
But that is where it gets tricky because I feel like I cannot always do it well and that I especially cannot do it right.
The day ended with the groceries bought and put away, the laundry done and folded but more tears, and some days I feel like I really just want to throw in the towel instead of wash it.
p.s. I am okay. We are fine. But some days are just hard, you know?
Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes. I think we all have those days (weeks?) where it would be so much more satisfying to take the towel outside and set fire to it rather than send one more load through the washer. Metaphorically and literally.
*hugs* I’m glad you’re okay, but really hope the rest of the week swings up.
Dude, I know. I did ten loads of laundry yesterday and I’m still not done.
I had a day just like that yesterday. This morning, it threatened to start out the same and I threw my hands up and told my husband that I seriously suck at this mothering two people thing.
He told me I don’t suck.
I should believe that. Right?
Feel better, my friend. *hugs*
I think we can all relate. Yesterday was a terrible day for me, and today isn’t starting out very well either. I have to keep telling myself that I will miss these days when they are gone.
Oh my gosh. Our posts are SO SIMILAR today. It is crazy. I have been a wreck lately. My kids are driving me CRAZY. But even worse, I am driving me crazy. I am such a friggin crank! It is nuts.
I keep trying to get back to that peaceful, grateful feeling and just let the joy wash over me for my wonderful life, but I just can’t get there right now. I don’t know why. I’m struggling this week. Ugh.
Oh Monday. You suck. Sometimes the jump to reality after a nice break is so harsh, it almost makes it hard to appreciate the slow, quiet, family moments. Almost.
Bad Mondays are the worst. I love your words though. But I sure am glad I’m not the only one who often really, really hates her to-do list.
That place is so hard – knowing you have everything you’ve wanted but not really loving it like you thought you would. I know it well.
I’m having that kind of week too.
I was having the same kind of day on Saturday, just wanting to throw in the towel and wondering if I do this job well. I guess we all have these days and moments. You put that feeling into words beautifully.
Totally get it! And Mondays? Totally hard….but surprisingly, so are Fridays (because daddy is usually late!)